Through Adam’s Eyes

A heat wave hit Texas that year. I was young, and I believed in my cooking skills—I really believed in myself. I opened a cafe with my dad’s credit score, and luckily for him, we believed in the right guy. My goal was simply to get it big enough to pay the bills. I would spend nights, sometimes a week, sleeping here to make sure this succeeded.

Then she came in. She had wavy black hair and pale skin. She started off as a glimpse of the garden and became my Eden. Time passed, and what was an apartment I knew as much as a stranger became our home.

One was where we shared meals, and the other was where she gave life as the only money I ever put into decorations for my cafe. Sleeping at the restaurant faded as I would rather return to our home.

Then the day came. The term we grew. I hired someone to help run the cafe late at night so that I could spend every night with her to make sure she had all she could. She appreciated it, as, at the time, my focus was slipping back to work. Betting my future in the cafe was fine, but betting all of ours was horrible. Though we weathered the storm, I made sure to put in more effort, one our relationship needed.

Then she was born, the only woman I could love as much as her mother. I found a balanced life, a garden full of sunshine, give or take some rainy days. I was… yeah, I was happy.

My daughter was three. I stared at her green eyes and felt at peace. Then I heard it. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.

I opened the door to find a lanky man in a T-shirt and slacks. I assumed he was a new neighbor, but he wouldn’t look at me face to face. I asked how I could help, and that’s when he raised his gaze. Adorned to his face, draped in shame, are green eyes that bring me peace.

The rest of that night was a blur. My wife sat on the couch crying as her past came walking into our home. I never yelled, as I made it a point never to yell in front of my daughter… I mean, in front of Jewels. All I did was sit on the recliner and stare into her eyes, enjoying the feeling moments of serenity.

A storm entered and never left. They can change the terrain of the land and alter the course of nature. The only way to let the rain pass is to let it fade. Let nature take its course, and nature can heal. I don’t know how to do that, though. All I know is that I have become a raging thunder roaring through other people’s lives.

My eyes focus as I leave the memory and step back to the present. Manny looks at me, wondering how a calloused jackass can ever understand the inner working of love. I get it. I’m not a good man. I want to be, but I’m not. Shit, I need to end it with the both of them after tonight. Nothing I can do can heal their pain, but I can at least help this kid in front of me. Right?

ADAM

They make you feel real. Every second with them makes you feel like you’re not going at everything the world throws at you alone. You feel seen, tangible…heard. You love every moment. Being with them gives you this weird sense of wholeness. Not that you feel empty without them, but you feel full when they are beside you.

Gets intoxicating a bit. Blurs your vision. Makes it hard to see what’s really going on. Can’t see that you’re getting played.

Manny finally stands up not taking it anymore. Good, he shouldn’t, but he needs to.

MANNY

It’s not like that!

ADAM

No shame, man, we’ve all been there. Some of us have more than once. Really twists some people up. But that’s not an excuse.

Kate’s shit. I know because I am, too. Real, recognize real. Shit recognizes shit. We spot our kind like a turd floating in a pool.

It hits him. His words tremble, and I know I need to push more. I hate doing this. It’s not my place, but after what I saw and heard, how could I not? Though, who am I to say I understand it all?

MANNY

She isn’t shit.

ADAM

Whatever. I’m not here to change your mind. Just talking out loud, I guess. Reliving a few mistakes. Trying to make sure someone else doesn’t make the same.

Manny grabs my arm, keeping me next to him. I don’t make a move against him, but I know where the bat is in this room. An arm’s reach away in case I pushed him too far.

MANNY

This isn’t a mistake. Its… a hiccup.

ADAM

Then let me get you a glass of water because I’m guessing you’ve been having this case of hiccups for a long time.

MANNY

You’re all jokes.

ADAM

And you’re full of excuses.

Manny lets go, taking a step back.

MANNY

Why do you even care?

ADAM

I don’t have to explain shit.

He thinks I can see it. I don’t say a word. He takes a seat on my cot. An old friend I have been reacquainted with in the past few years.

MANNY

How do you know when you’re in something like that? How do you get out?

ADAM

Don’t know. I’m not the best choice to talk about this kind of stuff. If I had to tell you something.

I guess… Be real with yourself and the situation. Take a step back, I think. I don’t know, man. I thought you said I was shit at relationships.

Manny stares at his phone again.

MANNY

You are, but I don’t have much room to talk.