Eating one of Mooove Over’s phony hot dogs must have been an all time low. I was crouched in the corner of the break room, packing the sausage away like that rat from Ratatouille swallows cheese, and I felt dirty. This shift was just going terribly. As part of some corporate requirement, the store owner dropped in for a visit. Meaning that for the entirety of my shift, I had Morgan’s cigarette breath coming down on my neck. 

To keep my body regulated through the bouts of boredom, I snacked. Bailey hated it. He said that skimming the merchandise by giving myself samples of ice cream or chowing down the crushed Oreos messed with inventory checks. 

I couldn’t care less about Mooove Over’s precious inventory checks but Morgan did. Morgan didn’t let me get a single sample of Brownie Cheesecake or Pina Colada Sorbet. After hours of hardly getting a sip of water, a break time granola bar couldn’t cut it anymore. 

So like the desperate minimum wage employee I was, I–*gag*–paid for a single hot dog at the start of my break. What a fall from grace. Most of the time, the sight of those hot dogs swimming around in their own lukewarm juices had me recoiling in horror. Working in food service truly lifted the veil. 

If I wasn’t making money off those meaty slugs, I would warn every little league trio that rolled in here asking for the kids' meal to run over to DQ instead. While I never explained to customers why the bath of horror made my blood curdle, I at least promised myself to never consume one of those hot dogs. And yet, here I was, chomping one down like a maniac while trying to forget what I was eating.  

Emerging from the break room with a grease and shame-covered mouth, I remembered that our store owner had already been gone for an hour. If Morgan’s ugh setting hadn’t been turned up to extreme, I could have had a respectable snack. 

But life will do anything but be predictable. Morgan was still behind the counter, handing out cones with an uncomfortable smile. Bailey was on register today, meaning that all the incoming customers got to hear about his fabulous college boyfriend.

“I honestly wasn’t sure when he approached me on Bumble,” I heard Bailey say as I re-tied my apron. “Two years is a lot, you know? But for an older man, he’s so down to earth.”

The father daughter pair stared ahead blankly, looking as confused about what was happening as I was.

“Your total’s $12.32.”

The shift dragged on slowly, leaving plenty of chances for Bailey to talk. And, as the customers seemed less and less interested to hear about Bailey’s whirlwind romance, he became more intent on sharing the stories with me. 

As far as Bailey knew, I was as single today as I was the day we first met. Informing him about my new, British boyfriend might help to shut him up. But Rin had to be the first person I told. 

In hindsight, Bailey was a great motivator for me to tell Rin the truth. After his 7th not-so-humble brag about Matt from U of T, I was right at my limit. 

“We’re 10 minutes out from closing so I’m going to head to the back,” Morgan sighed, the smile sliding off her face like the bowtie she ripped off her neck. “Call me if you need me and please, try not to need me.”

If she hadn’t been slacking off as manager for so long, she might have remembered that minutes before closing was the worst time to pull out. We always got a final wave of people right before we closed. It’s like the little yellow font on google maps warning them that we were closing soon just made them want ice cream more. 

As expected, we were T minus 7 minutes from closing the doors when two people came in. One was a girl ordering for herself and 5 other people judging from how she read off her phone. 

The other was Rin.

Huh?

Did he forget that I worked here when he invited Stephanie out for a late night cone? Except he didn’t because Stephanie wasn’t with him. He walked through the door alone, his black hair bone straight yet effortlessly tousled. The wind must have picked up outside because his thick north face jacket made him look like the boy next door got a winter upgrade.

I loved it. I also love him but I think that’s pretty obvious.

I was in the middle of scooping the tall girl’s 2nd cup (it was strawberry, what a basic choice) and noticed how Rin was looking around her, anxiously trying to meet my eye. Either he needed the code to go to the bathroom or he wanted to talk to me.

“I can finish this up, you go,” Bailey muttered as he picked up a second scooper. The thank you was on my tongue when he added. “He’s creeping me out.”

How dare he?! Sure Rin was starting to pace like the mastermind in the movie before they shared their heist plan but he was not creepy. Also, Rin has been around for too many of my shifts for Bailey not to know who he is. He must have called Rin creepy just to piss me off. I stuck my tongue out at him while he was turned away because I am an adult then turned to where Rin patiently waited.

“What’s up?”

I tucked my hands into my apron’s pockets, hoping that looked natural.

“Can we talk?”

“We are talking,” I grinned only to be met with Rin’s straight face. “Sorry, bad joke. Give me a second.”

If the white girl purchasing her 6th cup of strawberry ice cream had any judgment about me walking around the counter to talk to my friend, she didn’t get the chance to share it. Bailey took her money then followed her out the front door so he could flip around the closed sign once she left. 

I knew Bailey must already be pissed at me because he went right into the after closing clean up. Which meant he was working while I was not. That alone, no matter the context, made the guy’s blood boil.

I tried to remember that I was actively on shift at Mooove Over Ice Cream Parlor and we had an attentive audience of 1 when Rin said,

“I miss you, Elly.” 

I don’t know what I would have done if I wasn’t in my work uniform and Bailey wasn’t eavesdropping because that nosy bitch most certainly was. Maybe I would have hugged him. Or exposed my love by trying to kiss the idiot. Either way, when Rin looked so puppy dog and shy and honest, my calm nods did nothing to express the extent of my feelings.

“I’m still pissed about-” he cut himself off, glancing at my curly-haired coworker who could hear everything we said. “ . . . what you did. But I love you, Elly.”

My heart swelled with joy and shattered just as fast. If he wasn’t so sincere and wasn’t Rin Hamada, I might have thought he was doing it on purpose. Why lord? Why make life so cruel as to bring this man into my life when I can never call him mine?

“You’re my best friend.”

And there it was.

I let those words echo in my mind. I needed to remember that being his best friend was a privilege. Hopefully, if I keep holding that title close to my heart, then one day those words can heal it.

“And you’re mine,” I choked out. I could not repeat those 3 words back. If I said I love you, even a stranger would see that my love wasn’t platonic. 

Rin opened his arms, lips stretching out into a smile when I shuffled closer. I leaned into his hug, cow spotted apron and all, relieved that the worst weeks of my life were finally over. Unrequited love was tough. The myriad of media dedicated to the topic said as much. But life without Rin was a thousand times worse.

“This isn’t complete forgiveness, okay?” He warned, hand lingering on my hip after we pulled apart. “You need to prove that you’re not going to be so selfish anymore.”

“Absolutely. I’ll do whatever it takes,” I promised right around the time Bailey cleared his throat. I guess he thought our conversation had run its course. I jogged back around the counter, calling out as I went, “Just say the word.”

“I’m not going to give you all the answers, El. It’s just about making an effort,” he explained, leaning against the counter while I began putting lids on the ice cream tubs. “But a good start might be getting over whatever jealousy you have towards Stephanie.”

I rolled my eyes playfully, trying not to let either of the men watching me see how accurate that was. Of course, I hadn’t realized it was jealousy back when I was scheming. But who wouldn’t be jealous of the girl living out their dream? I dragged out the first ice cream tub, trying to think of a good response. What would a moderately involved, platonic best friend say?

“You don’t have to worry about me being butthurt anymore because I’m no longer single.”

That sounds about right. What better way to come out to your friend than in an ice cream parlor? I really have a way with words. 

Because I’d been dragging the ice cream back into the freezer, I was able to avoid Rin’s reaction for a beat. Upon my return, I saw that he had taken the news remarkably well.

As in he’d gone as pale as a ghost.

“You’re not?”

“Nope.” Even as I spoke to Rin, Bailey’s eyes bore into me from the cash register. Gosh, is it that shocking that I found someone to date? 

“But I am kind of gay. Maybe pan or bi, I still have to figure that out.”

“Sorry, I’m not following–what?”

Rin had braced both hands against the counter, using it to get his stunned face as close to me as possible. I was still working so that wasn’t close at all, but I really didn’t need a better view of how his jaw had dropped open.

“You know my friend James, right?”

His face fell, expression turning deliberately neutral.

“Well, he asked me out a few weeks ago and I said no at the time but I got to thinking and realized dating a guy might not be so bad.”

“Might not be so bad? You know he’s not just expecting to hold hands as your boyfriend.”

Neither of us had said the word sex, but just the thought of doing that with James had my face flushing red. It didn’t help that Rin’s snappy response got a loud “Amen” from where Bailey knelt at the cupboard. He really needed to mind his business.

“Of course I know that, dipshit,” I bit out, crossing my arms. “And I’ll deal with that when the time comes. All I can say is that we went on a date and we kissed and I’m . . . pretty certain I can go all the way with him if we get there.”

A painful silence swept through the room. For a moment, I could hear Morgan cackling away in her office. Her shrill laughter was the only thing that helped Rin recover from being at a loss for words.

“Wow. Uh, I’m happy for you . . . man,” he coughed, looking at anything but me. “James seems like a chill guy.”

“Thanks.” 

“If you want, you can invite him to have lunch with us. Since you’re not avoiding me anymore,” he joked.

“Excuse you, I was trying to be a considerate friend.” 

“Uh huh, okay,” he teased warmly. When Rin looked into my eyes, I relished how familiar it felt.

Rin had folded himself halfway across the counter at this point, dropping his voice down to a whisper. 

“We both know you just wanted to flirt with his friends.”

Just a few minutes after finding out I like guys and this is how Rin acts. I knew there was a reason I loved him.

Grinning, I brought my face down near his, dropping my voice down an octave.

“ . . . yeah maybe I did.”

We laughed, pulling apart as those laughs got louder. I don’t think he perfectly adapted to my new sexuality. He was still a bit tense and whenever I wasn’t looking at him, it felt like he was staring at me. Of course, that might have been my body confusing his stare for Bailey because that nosy bastard might have been trying to figure out how awesome my boyfriend was compared to his. 

But back to the point.

I didn’t need Rin to get used to this immediately. I knew it was a big change and it could take some time for him to wrap his head around it. But now he knew that I was taken. And I was taken by a guy I really respected and admired. James was a good boyfriend. And clearly, Rin had an awesome girlfriend.

Maybe life will give me a break this time. Now that we’re both in committed relationships, maybe our friendship can finally have some peace.

“So the guy who just said ‘I love you’ isn’t your boyfriend?” Bailey asked as we crossed paths in the walk-in.

I shook my head no, checking to make sure the fridge door was closed.

Bailey rolled his eyes with a scoff.

“You could have fooled me.”