Dylan was droning on and on about his sex life. I sighed as I shoved another piece of sushi in my mouth and listened to him talk about Gabriela’s thick backside—or was it Amanda? Shit. I wasn’t paying close enough attention. I poured myself another shot of sake and drank it to make this more enjoyable. Dylan was a nice enough guy but he was a major gossip. His traditionally good looks got him a lot of attention, especially in a female-dominated field. Blonde hair and blue eyes did wonders for his inflated ego. It didn’t bother me most days but when he got too detailed on his sexual encounters, that’s when I started to get mildly irritated. I didn’t even care enough about my own sex life to even begin to care about his. God. I can’t even remember the last time I had sex. Even then, I didn’t enjoy it because the last person I had sex with was a woman. I found out pretty slowly that I preferred men. Most of my coworkers knew that I was trans but they didn’t know my sexual preferences. I never spoke about it. It was no ones business unless I made it their business. My closest friends knew, of course, like Amber and Joey. We met online and have been playing all kinds of video games together for years. They knew how complicated my romantic and sex life was. The thing that kept me single was my… I guess, fear. It took many years for my family to finally accept that I was a man and not their baby girl. But they could not even begin to comprehend, let alone accept me being their gay son. They faught and mostly conquered the transphobia but the homophobia… that was an entirely different war that hadn’t even begun yet and one I don’t think they could win. I sighed as I plopped another piece of my roll into my mouth.

“Sorry man, I went on a whole rant there, how are you doing?” Dylan drank from his japanese beer as he looked directly at me with a soft smile.

I shrugged, “You know, same old shit different day.” I know my response was bland but I didn’t have any raunchy or sordid tales to tell him that he would be interested in.

“Oh yeah?” He smirked and ate a piece of fish, “Don’t think I didn’t notice you checking your phone at work. You never do that so who is she?” He grinned cockily.

“What? No, I haven’t.” I paused for a moment, thinking on his words, Oh shit I have been. In between patients, I have been sneaking glances at some of the messages Texas has left for me while I was working. It always cheers me up and helps me get through the shift. Fuck. I shook my hands and head dismissively, “It’s just a new friend.” I try to dissuade him of whatever wild idea he has created in his mind.

Speak of the devil. My phone chimed, causing Dylan to grin even wider as I groaned.

“Not a word out of you.” I pointed at Dylan, who motioned like he was locking his lips shut and throwing away the key.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone.

Texas: How’s it going?

A smile threatens to form on my lips but I do my best to suppress it. I don’t want to add fuel to the fire that Dylan is already burning.

Me: Miss me already?

The response is immediate and makes my hear skip a beat.

Texas: A little…

Texas: Yeah.

I suddenly become nervous. I think maybe I am growing far too attached to him way too fast. It hasn’t even been a full month yet and I think I might be developing… something. Something that isn’t good. Nothing good can come out of this. Panic begins to set in.

“Whoa, you okay? You suddenly got pale.” Dylan asked, interrupting my thoughts.

“I’m gay.” The words fell from my lips before I could think.

“Oh, shit, really?” He seemed genuinely shocked but I could not sense any negative emotions and facial expressions coming from him.

I merely nodded in response.

He shrugged, “My brother is gay.” He drank down the rest of his beer as he relaxed back into his seat, throwing his elbow on the top of the chair’s back, “So who’s the guy?” He smiled genuinely.

I sighed, “I didn’t lie. He’s just a friend.” But I’m already aggressively becoming attached to him even though I barely know anything at all about him except a nickname he got in the military because he was born and raised in Texas. “He’s probably straight anyway.”

“Doesn’t hurt to ask.”

“Yes, it absolutely does.” I chuckled out a scoff as I finished my sake. Texas barely held it together when he found out I was Allen and not Allison. If he knew I was gay as well his little southern… no, his big ass southern, heart would explode in his chest. Besides, why would I even ask him that. It’s not like I am interested in him that way and there is no way in hell that he would ever be interested in me like that. Plus, he also freezes up after we take our little homoerotic jokes a little too far. All signs point to: leave it alone. So that is exactly what I’m going to do.

“I could set you up with my brother.”

“If he’s anything like you, hard pass.” I tease and Dylan laughs.

“He’s worse.” He admits.

My phone chimes again and I spare a glance at the message before I put my phone away and give Dylan my full attention. He has a million questions now but it feels nice to be able to freely and openly talk to him about myself. My life. Shit in general without feeling like I have this secret weighing on me. He took it a thousand times better than I would have thought. He sort of gave off the vibe of the asshole jocks who picked on me in highschool. It’s why I never thought about saying anything to him but he’s nothing like them. I feel slightly guilty for even making the comparison now. He's a great guy and a good friend. I'm lucky.