Noah’s fingers slowly flexed around the fabric in his hands, soft and warm. Underneath he could feel the sturdy build of a chest and a familiar heartbeat, one he thought of nearly every day he was away from it. The arms that surrounded him were warm and safe, the hand at his back steady, the fingers in his hair gentle and warm against his scalp. As he slowly opened his eyes, his vision finally clear, he saw the chest he faced rise and fall rhythmically, something he had never seen in the soft light of dawn. Usually, he was facing away, or already gone. He flattened his palm against it, taking in the comfort this body gave him. His other arm was bent against his stomach, pressed between their bodies, the muscles from the other body firm and irresistible. He wanted to run his fingers across each ab, feel every ridge and line.

“You’re awake,” Kas’ deep tenor voice rumbled gently in his chest. Noah couldn’t help but dip his head slightly, letting his forehead rest against him.

“Mhm,” he said, the one small sound coming out cracked and hoarse. He opened his mouth to say more but his throat burned and he winced. “Did…you sleep?” He hated how his voice sounded.

“No,” Kas said, his hand moving up his back. “I tried a couple of times to get another cold cloth to cool you down but you weren’t having it.” There was a small chuckle hiding behind his words, painting a small smile on Noah’s dry lips. “Just relax. You’ve only been asleep a few hours. You should get some more rest before Ynda gets back.”

“Yn—” he coughed lightly. “Ynda’s…here?”

“Yeah,” Kas said. “She helped get rid of that guy last night.”

Memories of the event resurfaced, causing Noah’s entire body to flinch, curling into Kas as he tried to push them aside. Kas’ arms tightened around him and he felt his lips touch the top of his head. He closed his eyes, bathing in the warm comfort only Kas could give.

“It’s okay, Noah,” he said. “You don’t have to say anything…I saw it all…” His fingers flexed against Noah’s back. “If Ynda hadn’t killed him, I would have. As it is, she brought his wings for me.”

Noah’s chin trembled and he pressed himself as close to Kas as he could, fighting the tears that threatened. “I really messed up,” he whispered. “I should have…paid more attention…killed him sooner…my f-fault.”

“No, it isn’t.” His thick fingers trailed gently through Noah’s disheveled silver hair. “You did nothing wrong, not one thing.”

Noah swallowed past the burn in his throat and the pain in his chest. “Kas…I should have opened the link sooner…it never would have happened if I—”

Kas shifted, lifting Noah’s face to look into his eyes. His breath caught at the warmth he saw within them, the way those green eyes reminded him of a field of clover set his heart to racing. There was no way Kas didn’t feel it.

“Listen to me,” Kas said gently. “If you think for a minute I’m angry with you, I’m not. All day I was worried sick about you, wondering where you were and if you were okay. Of course I wish you would have become visible to me sooner, but I’m not going to make you feel worse just because it almost dropped too late. I was so scared, Noah…” He buried his face in Noah’s hair, breathing deeply as he tried to calm his own racing heart. 

“You made me puke,” Noah whispered.

“I had to. You would have died otherwise.” He swallowed. “The drug he gave you was laced with poison. I couldn’t figure out which one, but it smelled like carrots.”

Noah’s eyes focused on his fingers as they played with Kas’ shirt. “Water Hemlock,” he said softly. “The effects are pretty painful. The drug must have been a sedative so I wouldn’t feel it as I died.” He rubbed his face into Kas’ chest. “How did you figure it out?”

“I managed to get up once because you were burning up and you needed a cold cloth right away. I took a minute to examine the powder and found tiny little white petals and seeds mixed in with it. I flushed it right after. You didn’t let me out of bed after that.”

“Good,” Noah whispered.

Kas was quiet for a long while, not making any move to get up or push Noah away. If anything, he drew him in closer. Noah slipped his leg between Kas’ with no other intent than just to be as close as he possibly could. Kas must have known that because he didn’t react the way he normally would have when Noah made that move. He felt so comfortable after being on edge for so long, he didn’t want to get up. He wanted to stay this way for as long as possible, to stay with Kas for as long as possible. A faint memory tickled at his mind from a few nights prior when they were lying in bed, drunk and crying.

Please, just stay with me, Noah. 

Noah dipped his head. Kas hadn’t really meant it, had he? They were wasted…words spoken through a bottle had never held real meaning to him. They couldn’t. They were sober now, though. And he had told Kas they should talk…he’d left that note on purpose…he wanted to tell Kas the truth, tell him absolutely everything.

The familiar tightness in his chest that accompanied those thoughts gripped him suddenly, his throat closing before he could even part his lips. He couldn’t tell him. Kas would never accept any of it and why should he? After all Noah had put him through all these years? Being held like this at all was dangerous, and not just because he might collapse within himself. He wasn’t allowed to get attached, no matter what he told himself. 

I’m leaving with him…

You realize what that means, don’t you?

“Your mind is moving far too fast for someone who should be resting, Noah Albright.”

Noah’s eyes snapped open. Did Kas hear all that? Did he know exactly what Noah was thinking?

“No,” Kas said quietly. “I never know exactly what goes on in there, just the feelings behind it. You keep a lot of the details to yourself, you always have. Unless you’re talking directly to me, that is.”

Noah sighed, relief washing over him. “Sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t be.”

He felt Kas’ throat bounce against the top of his head, heard his breath and the soft wet parting of his lips. “You said we should talk,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Noah hesitated, his hands beginning to shake. He folded the fingers of the hand that rested between them under the covers. He couldn’t…he changed his mind…he couldn’t say anything, it would only put Kas in danger. It was risky enough including him on so many jobs, but to tell him everything he never could? 

Yet, he had always believed in the depths of his core that Kas was worth it. Noah never let anyone else touch him, not ever. He always had a thin barrier over his body, his “glove,” and made any lover he had wear a condom. He refused to allow some other man’s hands touch what was never theirs to hold in the first place. Only Kas knew what Noah’s skin really felt like, knew how he felt inside, knew his genuine sounds and smells. 

Until last night…he could still remember the feel of that creep’s hands on his skin, the violation and sickness that invaded his body at the unwanted contact. He had been too out of it to coat himself, to protect himself. Being invaded internally wasn’t the only thing that had hurt; his hands touching and pushing against what rightfully belonged to someone else made Noah’s skin burn.

He shuddered slightly, Kas responding with his hands pressing into his back. The bastard Ynda killed had made him feel vile, contaminated. 

Kas made him feel beautiful again, just by holding him like this. This was what decided his mind for him. Up until now, it had been what lay within his heart, his core, and in the very depths of his soul that had been off limits to Kas. 

Not anymore.

He took a soft breath and licked his lips. “Kas—”

The door swung open, forcing Kas to bolt upright, reaching for the dagger he kept under the mattress, flipping it sideways, blade out. Noah sat up, his own energy flowing erratically through his body, unsure of where it should go. His head swam and he lay back down.

“Goddammit, Ynda!” Kas shouted.

She shrugged. “What? I knocked. You must not have heard me.”

“Bullshit, my hearing is just as good as yours.”

“Whatever.” She grabbed a chair from the kitchen and brought it into the bedroom, plunking it down by Noah’s side of the bed and seating herself upon it, draping one leg over the other, her arms folded, her short blonde hair covering one eye, the other fixed steadily on the weak angel who was struggling to sit up. Ynda reached over to help him but he shot her a look that made her rethink her actions. 

Kas, on the other hand…

Ynda couldn’t help but notice Noah not flinch or glare at him when he touched her cousin. That’s a first.

“How are you doing?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I’ve been better.” His eyes softened on her. “Thank you for last night.”

She smiled. “Of course. I’m sure Strannick told you I got his wings?”

Noah nodded. 

“I took his head, too.” She looked at Kas. “Apparently there was a bounty on it, who knew?” She reached into the bag she had on her belt and pulled out a wad of cash. “I already took my cut.” Kas took it with a nod.

She looked back at her cousin and her expression sobered. “The others are here. Or at least, they were. Wisteria is going through the city right now.”

“Why is she here?”

“Daddy sent them.”

Noah’s shoulders stiffened. “How—”

“Kayla is way too smart for her own good sometimes.” She glanced at Kas who’s eye twitched. He averted his gaze, flipping the dagger and putting it back under the mattress. “She’s a good match with Havik, actually,” she added.

“Good,” was all the disgraced former Franks son could say. 

He sat back against the headboard, folding his arms and crossing his ankles, keeping his eyes down. Ynda caught the small movement in Noah’s hand. He wanted to reach out, to touch Kas but wasn’t sure if he should. Instead he tightened his grip on the comforter over his lap.

She sighed. “The timeline has been moved up,” she said to Noah.

He looked at her. “By how much?”

“A lot. We’re expected there in a week.”

“That’s not enough time to convince him to go to Gods Hall and back to the barrier, Ynda. Not to mention, I’m not exactly at peak performance right now.”

“I know,” Ynda said. “You knew this day was coming, Noah, we all did. We can’t hesitate on this.”

Noah sighed, averting his gaze. “At the very least he agreed to see him.”

Ynda sat up straight. “How did you convince him to do that?”

“I made a deal.”

“What kind of deal?”

Noah slid his eyes to her but said nothing. She nodded once, dropping it. 

Without looking up, Kas said, “Not for nothing, guys, but I’m still right here and about as out of the loop as one can get.”

Noah’s lips twitched with a small smile, his eyes moving from Ynda to his own hands as they fidgeted in his lap.

Ynda sighed. “I guess I can’t fault you for not telling him anything,” she said. She turned her gaze out the window. “Did you ever want to?”

Noah hesitated before shaking his head.

She rolled her eyes. “Lie to everyone else, Noah, not to me.” When he didn’t reply, she sighed and shook her head. “Tell him now.”

“How much?”

“All of it.”

He sat back, the pillow supporting him against the headboard. He raised his head, his eyes on the ceiling as he pulled in his lower lip, releasing it slowly. He took a deep breath and said, “Kas, understand that what I’m about to tell you, I didn’t keep from you because I didn’t trust you. I had to stay silent, that was the deal. From the beginning I couldn’t say anything even though I desperately wanted to. Hell, no one else knew the full scope of this thing until a few decades ago.”

Kas stared at him, his gaze intent. “I feel like I should get a drink.”

“It’s not even seven in the morning,” Ynda said, watching him get up and walk out of the room, perplexed.

“I’m an alcoholic, Ynda, any time is a good time for a drink.” He waved the bottle in the doorway. “You want one?”

She sighed. “May as well,” she grumbled.

“Noah?”

“Is that a serious question?”

“Three glasses and a bottle, got it.”

Ynda narrowed her eyes at her cousin who shrugged. “You both need an intervention.”

“Says the woman who just agreed to cheap whiskey at seven in the morning,” Kas said, pushing a glass with amber liquid in her hand. He handed Noah’s to him before reclaiming his half of the bed, laying down just far enough so he could drink without spilling it all over himself. “Ready.”

Noah rolled his eyes, a sardonic grin on his face. He took a sip of the whiskey before he said, “To begin with, you should know he never told me to come on to you.”

“Who?”

“Havik.”

Kas looked up at him with a questioning gaze. “Um, awesome? I think? Not sure why that should even matter.”

“Because,” Noah said, taking a deep breath. “Everything that has happened, every part all of us has played up to this point, was orchestrated by Havik himself.” He gazed into the glass in his hand. “And it all started during the family vacation fifty years ago.”

-*-