Kas stared at the ceiling, his glass of whiskey completely untouched outside of two sips he took at the beginning of Noah’s story. Everything he said was stated matter-of-factly and to the point, with no trace of emotion. He wasn’t even cold about Kas’ part in everything; he simply stated it as facts as they related to the story and nothing more.

His mind reeled as he turned over everything Noah revealed, some of which he knew, most of which he didn’t, a lot of it more of a shock than he thought it would be. He sat up, his arm on his leg, one hand going through his hair. 

Toji was going to destroy the barrier. That was why he had gotten so violent. He had to be. If the crack was that deep into Hell, there would be creatures there he wouldn’t be able to defeat otherwise. Not only that, given all that he had put Toji through, not even he was surprised at how quickly he adapted to becoming the monster he had always fought against. In many ways, Kas was the one that created him through his own selfish actions.

He set the glass on the floor and sighed, his face going in both hands. God wanted everyone on Earth to die, self-righteous Divine were happy to let those they didn’t believe fit their perfect image be led to their slaughter, and a child had created the perfect play to bring it all down by separating their family.

“So,” he finally said, letting his hands fall to his lap, “All of reality, huh?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Ynda said.

“Is there a plan for what happens after that?”

“If there is, we don’t know it,” Noah said, his own drink untouched, his finger tracing the rim. Ynda’s glass was the only one that was drained.

Kas turned his head in her direction. “You said the other flowers were here.”

She nodded. “They’re going to help take down the last faction in the Heavenly Realms. Wisteria is going with us to see Toji.”

“Sorry, what?” Kas sat up straight, his eyes going directly to Noah who kept his on his glass. 

“We need to convince him to go to Gods Hall,” Ynda said.

“I thought you said he knew he was supposed to go.”

Noah nodded. “He’s refusing.”

“Any particular reason why?”

Noah was silent for a minute. “He just is,” he finally said quietly. 

Ynda sighed. “My guess is he wants to cut right to the chase and destroy the barrier, assuming, and probably rightly so, that the gods won’t do shit.”

“And you want me to go with you to convince him?” Kas stood up, picking up his glass and draining it in one deep gulp. “Funny.”

“Strannick, think about it. Why else would he agree to see you?” Ynda said, getting to her feet. “Maybe it’s you he’ll actually listen to.”

Kas threw his head back and laughed, grabbing up the bottle, and taking a swig directly from the neck before slamming it down on a nearby table. “What he wants from me is exactly what Noah said; my head on a spike. I step one foot in that place, I’m as good as dead. No fucking thank you.”

“Strannick—”

“I’m very happy you all have solved the mystery of the barrier and all that, but this isn’t my fight. It hasn’t been since I pushed you off that door.” He leaned against the wall, his eyes glued to Ynda’s face. “I have no reason whatsoever to help any of you, least of all the Helmans. In fact, there’s only one person I’m willing to stick my neck out for anymore and it isn’t you or Toji Helman Kanaki.”

Noah’s finger faltered on the glass.

Ynda clenched her fists at her side, her teeth gritted. “My father is willing to pardon you, if only temporarily, in exchange for your help with this.”

“Temporarily?” he laughed with mock amusement. “How kind of him.” He reached for the bottle and took another swig, whiskey leaking out the corner of his mouth. He wiped at it absently, licking it off the side of his hand before setting it back down on the table, much less violently this time.

“We actually do need you, Strannick, like it or not.”

“The fuck you do.” He glared at her with empty eyes. “You have enough people, you don’t need me. If you did, I would have been pardoned a long time ago, and Noah wouldn’t have to pretend not to know me. It’s bad enough Evie disappeared because of me.”

“Stran—”

“Think about it, Ynda, what exactly are you going to prove by bringing a traitor into Gods Hall to help plead your case?”

“You don’t even need to go in, you just need to help us with Toji and the barrier!”

“Not. Fucking. Happening.”

Ynda clenched her fists, teeth gritted. “You’re a real bastard, you know that?”

“Very well.”

“You know what, fine,” she said, rounding on Noah. “You try and talk some sense into this ape. I’ll give you two days.” She pushed past Kas and swung open the front door. She paused once saying, “It should have been you on the other side of that door, not Natsu.” With that she stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

Kas leaned his head back against the wall, wanting to reach for the bottle again but knowing it wouldn’t help. He turned his gaze to the ceiling, the self-loathing he had grown spreading deeper into his soul. What reason could the family possibly have for needing, much less even wanting his help in tearing through the barrier in the first place? He’d hurt them all, betrayed them all…he was an exile, forced to wander alone. It’s why he took the name Strannick to begin with. He didn’t want to be found. He wanted them to move on and forget about him. For decades they had. And now, when it was time to set everything right, they needed him?

A small sound from the bed caught his attention. Noah had thrown his legs over the side, his glass of whiskey on the nightstand. Even with his clothes in disarray and his hair hanging in his face, he was still beautiful. It hit him that when everyone else turned away, it was Noah that kept running back to him. Time and time again, it was Noah he saw, Noah he held, Noah he talked and laughed with, got shitfaced with…enjoyed life with, even if it was only for a few scattered moments in time.

He pushed himself off the wall and slowly walked over to sit next to him. He tucked a few loose hairs behind Noah’s ear, wrapping his arm around him when he leaned into his side.

“It’s me, isn’t it?” Noah asked softly. “The one you’ll stick your neck out for.”

Kas nodded. “Yeah.”

There was a slight pause. “What would you do for me?”

“Anything.” The word was out faster than he expected.

Noah swallowed. “Would you go see Toji with me?”

Kas tensed, not sure how to really answer that. Yes, he would do anything for Noah, but both he and Ynda were asking to help Toji, the last person in the universe who would want to even see Kas. “Noah—”

“You’re such a fucking idiot, I swear to god.” Noah got to his feet, staggering slightly as he rounded the bed. 

Kas stared after him, perplexed. “Wait, Noah, where are you going?” He stood, going after him. He reached out grabbing his wrist. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Because, Kas, you don’t seem to understand what’s really at stake here and it’s pissing me off.” He shook Kas off and reached for his shoes, falling against the wall in the attempt. 

Kas sighed. He stood, reaching for him. “Noah, stop, you’re still sick, you need to get back in bed and rest. I understand, I do, I just…” 

“No, you really fucking don’t,” he muttered, trying for his shoes again but still too lightheaded to succeed. He put a hand to his face, trying to get the world to stop spinning. 

Kas tried to pull him up but Noah pushed him away. Kas took a few steps back, his chest starting to ache. “Why are you doing this?” he asked, trying to keep his temper under control. 

“Doing what?”

“This! Everytime I try to talk to you, or even explain myself, you shut down and walk away.”

“I’m not…shit…” he leaned heavily into the wall, one shoe finally in his fingers. “I’m not shutting down, I’m trying to leave.”

“Why?”

“Because, Kas, you really don’t understand what I need from you, why it’s important to me you do this for us. For me.”

“Then tell me, Noah! Make me understand! What do you want?”

“Just stop, okay? It’s not like it will make any difference what I say. Why would it…” His voice trailed off as he shook his head, whatever thought he had fading off into a forgotten corner. He staggered reaching for his other shoe, gripping the table, his hands shaking. Kas tried to reach for him again, but Noah once again shoved him off.

Kas staggered back, his frustration finally at its limit. “For god’s sake, Noah, why is it so damn important to you I help the people who hate me so much?”

“Because I’m in love with you!” Noah yelled, throwing his shoe across the room. He looked up into Kas’ startled face, tears streaming down his face as he tried to pull himself up. A sob broke free and he bit his lip trying to stop more from exploding out of him. “I’m in love with you, Kas. I need you! I want you! I won’t do any of this if you’re not with me and if I don’t help, then the whole thing goes to hell!” He covered his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking as he cried. “They’re still my family, Lukas. But you’re my soulmate…I can’t do it unless you’re with me, Kas…I won’t…”

Kas backed into the wall, pale, his breath ragged. It was the first time either one of them had uttered that word and it was making his soul spin. Even saying it now, in the context of what was going on, was overwhelming. It was one thing to be soulmates, it was entirely different to be in love. At least, that’s how Kas had seen it all these years. He’d heard once how soulmates didn’t even need to be in love to have a relationship. They could just stay friends…but Noah was in love with him. Noah loved him. 

“How…when did—”

“During the vacation,” Noah cried, his voice muffled in his hands. “Fourth of July weekend when we were on the lake.”

That long?! “The day you first tried to seduce me.”

“I knew I liked you, but you were so hung up on Toji, I knew you’d never even look at me. I didn’t know what to do, so I…” another sob broke free. He struggled to his feet, fighting to stand up straight, his hands falling from his face, his ruby red eyes shining with tears. He tried to back away, get away from the almost bewildered and lost look in Kas’ eyes. “And then in the garden, when you touched me, and you almost kissed me…I was so twisted up and hurt because I knew, I could feel how all you wanted was Toji! I wanted you to look at me! To see me!” He pressed his hands against his chest as he backed up into the door. His arm shot out to the side as he continued to scream through his tears.

“No matter what I did, all you ever thought about was him. You were wallowing in your misery over him and you wouldn’t even look at me, the one who actually loved you! I know I was a kid, and I was stupid and I didn’t do things the right way. I played with you, I tortured you, I made you feel like shit for getting with Evie but that was because you were doing all that to me!”

He swiped at his face, trying to stop crying but failing miserably. “All this time, Kas, all I’ve wanted, the only one I’ve felt anything for, the only one I let touch me in any way is you. Wasn’t that a clue to—” His eyes went wide as a torrent of emotions, thoughts, and feelings poured down the link from Kas into Noah. He stood there, staring at the beautiful man with ruby red eyes and silver hair, his own silent tears running down his face. Years, decades of hidden truths and emotions flowing out of him all at once. He hadn’t meant to do it this way…he believed he would never have to at all. With Noah’s confession, that belief was burned away. Noah would know it all…just as Kas would. 

“I stopped loving Toji a long time ago, Noah. The one I’ve loved, this entire time, the only one I’ve seen and the one I can never look away from…” he swallowed, the box on his side of the link continuing to shatter into pieces as he finally admitted, “is you.”