Rose 04: How is This Legal?
Jan 06, 2025
Next time we return to Corrine’s misfortune.
Eldritch Troubadour
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As requested in the forums, here’s my feedback after reading all of the chapters so far. This is just my subjective opinion, and any critiques are meant to help you grow as a storyteller.
I really like the world you’re building—Victorian/WWII-era aesthetics always have a unique charm, and you’ve set up some intriguing mysteries that seem like they’ll have strong payoffs later. There’s definitely a lot of potential here!
That being said, the pacing feels a bit too fast, making it difficult to fully connect with the protagonists. Right now, we don’t have much time to get to know them beyond some broad tropes, which makes it harder for readers to become truly invested. Slowing down in key moments—perhaps by adding more character interactions, internal thoughts, or smaller personal stakes—could help flesh them out and make their struggles more engaging.
On the art side, I don’t usually focus too much on it since style can evolve over time, but I did find the facial expressions occasionally out of sync with the tone of the scenes. This happened frequently enough that it sometimes pulled me out of the moment. Maybe refining how expressions match the emotions of each scene could enhance the immersion even further.
You’ve planted some strong narrative seeds, and with a bit more time spent developing the characters and fine-tuning pacing, this story has the potential to grow into something really compelling. Keep going—I’m excited to see where it leads! Hope this feedback helps!
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