As I passed this window front with many other smiling, handsome faces that lived on magazine covers, more restaurants emerged. They all were much smaller and much less hip than the one I was committedly trying to avoid. The places on this side of the street looked more like cozy little family-run places and had tables on the sidewalk, giving them the appeal of European street cafés. The people sitting at these tables were munching on pasta and salads. This all looked pretty familiar and just fine.

‘Just fine!?!! You coward fool!’ my inner voice suddenly jumped at me. ‘I won’t settle for ‘Just fine’! You go in there and have a great lunch! Besides, what on earth is stopping you?’ it roamed.

My inner voice did have a point. Yeah, what was stopping me? Here I was, in a super happy bubbly mood. It was only my third day in this city, this city which I just loved and which always made me feel at home. It was this gorgeous, sunny summer’s day, not too hot, not too humid. As I had started my day past rush hour, even the subway hadn’t been crowded at all. I had found the way to this restaurant pretty easily. But most of all I was in a happy mood because of this: I had quit my job. I had quit it after having been with that company for more than ten years. Thanks to working overtime and left-over vacation days, I could now spend an entire month in this magic town – an entire month simply to enjoy myself. Plus: I had saved quite some money. Where was any better place to spoil myself than here? I was ready to treat myself splendidly – with a gorgeous dress, maybe, definitely with a fabulous stay at one of the fabulous downtown hotels.

I was so ready to indulge and spoil myself with everything life had to offer. I wanted these four weeks to be spectacular, and I knew they would be. I was in for it all, ready to risk, ready to lose and ready to win. So, hell yeah, what was stopping me?

Besides, I believe I must’ve looked lovely. I had put on a cream-colored summer dress with red flowers stitched all over. Its hem ended just above my knee, and the neckline showed a nice cleavage – not too much, just enough to show that I was a woman and not a boy in a dress. On top of it, I wore a tan-colored cardigan with sleeves to my elbows. My hair, usually an unruly mess of curls, today was silky, smooth, and shiny, and my skin must have smelled like the sunshine it had soaked up. My feet were nestled in my go-with-all leather Moccasins, which added a relaxed edge and were perfect for a long day of walking. Yes, I believe I must’ve looked lovely – and I was joyful, despite the fact that this restaurant scared me.

So here we go. Well, kind of… but I decided to no longer feed on silly fears and insecurities but on something else. I turned around, crossed the street, walked around the corner, and hopped up one, two, three, four steps into the restaurant, where I found myself at a dim and cool vestibule and…

– and there he was.

Standing in front of me. Right in front of me. Any step further of any of us and we would have crashed right into each other. But we hadn’t. Instead, we found ourselves finding our balance, freezing, a foot apart, observing each other. He in his navy-colored suit, me in my cream-colored summer dress.

Baff!

Wham.

Cartoon sounds. And then

Blank.

Blank…