It took Ash a good second to even register it. The warmth slipping down his face. The tightness in his throat.

What the fuck was he crying about?

“Ash?” Eiji whispered from below, softer this time. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” Ash wiped at his eyes, but the blur stayed. “God, no.”

“Then, what happened?”

“Don’t know.”

“It’s okay.” Eiji's fingers brushed beneath Ash's lashes, cool and gentle, catching the tears before they could fall too far. “Can I hold you?”

Ash should have been embarrassed, he knew as much. And he probably would have been, in any other scenario. But when Eiji looked at him with all the care in the world, Ash just nodded. Eiji smiled.

“I really don’t know what’s gotten into me,” Ash muttered as Eiji slowly guided him down until Ash was cradled to his chest. “It’s fucking ridiculous.”

“You don’t have to know it for it to be real,” Eiji said, hugging him so tightly, the cold couldn't touch them. Neither could shame.

Ash tried to laugh. “How can you be so—so okay with this?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not particularly easy to deal with.”

"Hey." Eiji’s hand slid down Ash's back, stroking slow, calming circles. “Loving you is easy,” he said. “It comes to me as naturally as breath.”

Ash sniffled. “You call whatever happened tonight easy?”

“Ash,” Eiji said, his voice suddenly so serious, Ash held onto an inhale a little longer than he meant to. “It's life that's difficult. Not you.”

Ash didn’t respond. Didn’t nod or scoff or smirk like he normally would.
He just stared at Eiji’s collarbone, until his vision blurred again.

Not you.

Ash blinked. Once. Twice. More tears fell without a warning and another sob crawled up through his throat. He let it. Didn’t fight. Didn’t wipe his face.

Because this wasn’t just a cry, was it? 

It wasn't that dreadful panic either.

This felt older. Ancient. It surged up from somewhere buried deep, and when it finally reached his throat, Ash could taste it—sharp and sour, like those little yellow Lemonheads he used to chew on as a kid. Back then, he’d sit behind the corner deli, legs scraped, hair a mess, popping them in one after another. Pretending it was the candy making his eyes sting. Pretending the burn in his throat was just from the sour and not the ache so much bigger than him.

He never spat them out. Just clenched his jaw and kept chewing, because swallowing pain was what he did.

Now? He let it go, he let it sting. Because this time, someone held him. Someone patient, gentle. Loving.

Ash pressed in tighter, vision swimming until all he could see was the steady rise of Eiji’s chest. The fabric beneath Ash's cheek was already damp, clinging to his skin, and when he shifted slightly, the wetness stuck. “Shit,” Ash said, voice hoarse. “I’ll ruin your shirt.”

Eiji pulled back, smirking, and peeked down at the stain at the bottom of his tee. “You already did.”

Ash groaned into his shoulder. “Asshole.”

“I know,” Eiji said. “But you like me anyway.”

“Unfortunately.”

"Hey." Eiji nudged his knee gently against Ash’s. Then, softer, with a smile forming at the corner of his lips, “By any chance, is there a shower in this hotel?”

Ash sniffled and wiped at his eyes. “I’m afraid not,” he said, slipping into his British accent. “This establishment lacks such modern luxuries.”

Eiji snorted. "Ashington Smith? My beloved. You returned to me."

"Only to inform you that the lavatory situation is—how shall I put it—also non-existent."

"Wow." Eiji shook his head, mock-offended. "Perhaps you ought to have mentioned that before we got engaged," he said in a nearly understandable British accent.

"Damn," Ash said. "You're getting better at this."

Eiji chuckled, but didn’t answer. Not right away. He just kept smiling, and stroking Ash’s hair, eyes flicking up toward the stars. The moment softened again. Cool air, warm skin. The steady rhythm of Eiji’s chest beneath him. Then, quietly, “You know, I saw another falling star. A little while ago."

"And didn't tell me?" Ash said.

"Didn't want to ruin the mood."

"By mood, you mean, me weeping like a Victorian widow?"

Eiji snorted. "Kinda." He cleared his throat, his shoulders suddenly tensing slightly. "About the star. I was just wondering—what did you wish for? Back then?”

Ash raised an eyebrow. “Thought you weren’t supposed to say those out loud?”

Eiji shrugged. “Maybe I changed my mind.”

"Is that allowed?" Ash said as he eased off Eiji's chest and settled on his side.

Eiji mirrored him without breaking the closeness, then smiled, half-serious now. "The rules of the universe are mysterious and important."

"Then, what did you wish for?

"I asked first," Eiji mumbled and lit up bright red, the same way he did when they kissed. Ash couldn't help but grin.

"C'mon, tell me," Ash insisted.

“You’re going to laugh.”

“I promise, I won’t.”

Eiji took a deep breath. "You will," he said. “It’s stupid. And embarrassing.”

Ash chuckled. “Embarrassing? You're saying it to me?”

“Okay. Okay." Eiji groaned. "Fine. I'll tell you. I wished—I wished to kiss you.”

Ash stared at him, completely still.

It was silly, really, how something so small could hit him so hard. Eiji, with his cheeks flushed and voice all quiet and unsure, like wanting to kiss him had been some reckless crime.

And that honesty. That ridiculous sweetness that always managed to knock the wind out of Ash before he even saw it coming. God, it was so him.

“You promised you wouldn’t laugh,” Eiji mumbled, and Ash realized he had been smiling, hard; with one of those real smiles he didn’t get to experience often, full and wide and aching in the best way.

“I’m not,” Ash said. “I’m just thinking."

"What?" Eiji asked all flustered.

"You could’ve saved us a lot of time if you’d told me. Instead of the stars.”

"How could I have known?"

Ash leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Eiji’s neck, feeling him shiver, then pulled to look at him, all blushing and grinning like a kid. “Let's put those stars out of business. Got any more wishes lined up?”

Eiji opened his mouth, ready to play along, but then stopped. Shyness faded from his face, and something more serious settled in. He looked at Ash. Really looked at him. “I do.”

The shift in tone made Ash's chest tighten. “Yeah?”

Eiji didn’t answer right away. He curled his fingers into Ash’s jacket. "I mean, I know it's selfish, but—I want you with me."

"I am with you."

“No—I mean—I wish you could come home with me.”

Ash blinked. “To Japan?”

Eiji nodded. “I know it sounds selfish,” he said, eyes locked on Ash but flickering somewhere far away. “But sometimes, when the wind smells like the sea, and the sun hits just right—like that deep golden kind of right—I swear, I can hear my mom laughing.” He took a deep breath, like he was trying to stop himself from tearing up.“I smell the moss. The cedar. The shrine path all damp and covered in leaves… and gosh, I miss it. I miss them. And it hurts.”

Ash opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Eiji went on, “I could live with that pain, you know?” He glanced down at Ash’s hand, then laced their fingers together. “But when I picture myself back there… and you’re not in it?” His voice cracked, just a little. “That’s the part that really fucking hurts. Because missing home doesn't even compare to missing you.”

Ash flushed. Hard. "What are you saying?"

"I want to bring you there. I want that to be home too. For both of us.”

Ash's fingers twitched in Eiji's palm as he looked down, suddenly aware of how ridiculously warm and probably just as red his own cheeks were. “Maybe,” he mumbled without thinking. “Maybe I’d like that too. Someday.”

Eiji leaned in, searching his face. “Someday?”

Ash cleared his throat. “Don't get me wrong,” he said, voice trembling more than he meant. “I thought about it, it’s just… I didn't think I was allowed to.” He paused, nervously laughing once under his breath. “The closest thing I’ve had to home is—” Ash cut himself off before he could say you.

But Eiji smiled anyway. “It's okay,” he said. “But if you ever feel like trying, then maybe… we could figure it out? Together?”

Ash didn't notice when he had stopped crying, but his eyes were stinging once again. This time, he knew exactly why. "Yeah. Maybe. Someday.”

Eiji nudged him gently. “Maybe soon?”

Ash found himself smiling back. “Maybe sooner than someday.”

They were quiet for a moment. The breeze rustled past, soft as breath, and in the silence that followed, Ash whispered the first thought on his mind, "If I came with you—what would your family even think?”

Eiji's face lit up. “My mom’s gonna love you,” he said, a little too rushed, already grinning. “My dad—well, he might take some warming up. He’s wary of people in general, not just… you know.” He laughed under his breath, then added, “But my sister? She’s basically American. With her American boy bands and all. And she’s gonna be so jealous of my boyfriend—”

“Boyfriend?”

Eiji froze. “Oh my gosh,” he whispered. “No—no, I didn’t mean that. I mean—I did, but not like that. Not in that way. It just—gosh, it slipped.”

Ash’s grin was instant. “So I’m your boyfriend now, huh?”

“No! I mean—someday? No—I don’t know,” Eiji groaned, hiding his face in both hands. “Please stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re enjoying this.”

“I am enjoying this,” Ash said, way too smug.

“I didn’t mean to label us. I swear. It just—came out.”

Ash gently pulled Eiji’s hands from his face. “Breathe,” he said slowly.

Eiji’s eyes were wide and nervous and so very red.

Ash’s voice softened. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I just—I didn’t want you to think I assumed anything after—you know.”

“I didn’t,” Ash said. “Plus, you'd have to divorce Ashington Smith first.”

Eiji let out a quiet huff. "We're not married. Yet."

"Trouble in paradise?"

“Maybe.” Eiji’s lips curled into something shy. “There’s this one homewrecker.”

“Oh yeah?” Ash slid an arm around Eiji’s waist and pulled him closer until there was no space left. “And what’s this homewrecker like?”

“Witty. Annoying. Blonde.”

Ash brushed their noses together. “Sounds hot.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Did you say irresistible?”

Eiji didn’t deny it. He gripped Ash's sides, and never stopped looking at him. “Ash?” he whispered.

“Yeah?”

“You never told me your wish.”

Ash turned his head slightly, just enough to glance up at the night sky, then back at him again; the curve of his cheek, the glow in his eyes, the way his mouth softened at the edges. And then—

“For you to be happy.”

“Oh.” Eiji stilled. Then, quieter, but certain, “But I am.” He smiled, soft and full of light, and Ash could feel it somewhere deep, in the part of him that used to be hollow. “And I’ve been. For quite a while.”

Ash didn’t lift his eyes to the stars again that night. Not because they weren't breathtaking; they were, all of them — the moon, the sky, the universe.

But the truth was, no matter how bright they burned, the stars above were no match to the ones shining back at him from Eiji’s eyes.