Quick as a flash, Axel’s head was smacked deep into the concrete ground. I grimaced in secondhand pain knowing firsthand how much that had to hurt.

“Not you,” Jye said. “You’re still on my shit list. Fucking Yorknew City arc…” They continued under their breath and I caught a few choice swears I didn’t care to repeat. Clearly, they cared deeply for the anime. I couldn’t say I didn’t relate, though truthfully my heart lay in Western animation. I probably wouldn’t ever mention as much to Jye though.

Ignoring Axel as he struggled to fight against whatever was forcing his face into the floor, I tried to placate Jye, “Okay, so honestly. Fair reaction. Axel is hard to like, but hear me out. He’s not wrong. We need to form a party for future Dungeons. You’ve got to be feeling the pull as well.”

In slow motion, the inner workings of Jye’s mind flickered over their features. Oh no. The pure confusion on the redhead’s face would’ve been comical if it didn’t fill me with dread. This was not going to be good. Their follow up question did nothing to reassure me either.

“Dungeons?”

Leave it to Axel to ask for help from the one person who wasn’t in on the whole mess. Though if their abilities were anything to go by, they were better than having no one. And they also looked incredibly strong. Hopefully their stats would match up.

I gestured to the smoking buildings in the distance, hoping it would expand on the whole thing. “Didn’t people, like, sprint out of the gym? No, don’t worry about that. You have been hearing a voice in your head, right?”

Stoically, Jye said, “All my life. It’s called a conscience.” With that, they glared down at Axel and his face pressed deeper towards the concrete. “Something a Yorknew City arc sympathiser probably wouldn’t be familiar with.” I wondered if he could breathe. Ah, well, Jye was just a buff nerd. Not a killer. They wouldn’t let Axel die from suffocation.

Would they?

Axel’s voice was muffled and strained as he asked, “Nothing new lately?”

Jye ran a hand through their hair and pulled at a knot, then they said, “Well, yeah, now that you mention it. There’s been this like… speaker feedback. I thought it was just tinnitus.” Smiling guiltily, they added, “I listen to music pretty loudly.”

“So, no actual words?”

They shook their head, red hair swaying with the movement. Again I was reminded of a puppy. Actually, more like Clifford the Big Red Dog.

The resemblance did nothing to quell the pinpricks of panic beginning to swell in my chest. Doubts began to form again. Maybe I was hallucinating. I had just simply accepted the world was essentially ending due to the cataclysmic appearance of black holes that turned reality into some sort of weird game. Wasn’t it easier to believe I was crazy? I had just gone along with Axel on this whole thing. And Axel wasn’t even being normal either! The differences with him were definitely something I could have dreamed up.

God, was I really just in a coma?

Nonplussed by his new station in life, Axel inquired further, “What about the status window?”

“I think you mean the little blue screen? Is that what it is? That I got. But can’t read shit. The fonts all messed up. I can barely make out the headings. Stuff like abilities, traits, titles.”

My mind went back to their words when they’d begun using their ability. They really didn’t know what their abilities did. It had all just been a gamble?

Needing clarification, I asked, “So, you can’t read your stats or abilities?”

“Nope,” they said, popping the "p."

What the actual fuck. This couldn’t be right. It had to be some sort of error, a glitch. Could we do bug reports? Was there a reality altering game dev on support right now? How did we submit an IT ticket to someone I wasn’t sure existed? God, would it be to someone, or something? I was stopped from going too deep into that rabbit hole as Jye’s hand on my shoulder pulled me back.

“I’m not gonna lie to you ‘cause you seem like a good bloke, but that smoke this fucker flicked out of my lips? Not the nicotine kind.” They threw their hands up into the air. “I just thought it was kicking in fast, all right. Like the screen was part of the trip. The abilities too.”

“There’s no one who wished that were true more than me,” Axel dryly commented.

There was a crunch and his face was then pushed so far into the concrete that I was genuinely worried his nose had been broken. His face was flat like a pancake across the floor. No longer convinced that Jye wouldn’t just kill him, I found myself pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Please, can you let him up?”

Jye sighed. “I just wanted him to learn a lesson.”

I waited for them to elaborate.

“Start shit, get hit,” they explained.

“I think he’s learned that. Haven’t you, Axel?”

He spoke, but no words he said were discernible. Only the sound of his voice muffled by the floor. Jye didn’t look convinced. They had folded their massive guns over their chest and had a blank expression on their face.

Taking creative licence, I feigned sadness. “Look, Jye, he even said sorry.”

The giant thought for a moment, rolled their eyes, and then turned to start walking away. Thank God for that. In the same moment, Axel gasped for air so loudly and quickly like a balloon exploding in reverse, that it startled me. Smoothly, he pushed himself up from the floor. In a blink, he closed the distance between Jye and himself. Thankfully, he still seemed winded. It gave me enough time to intercept, my back to Jye and theirs to mine.

I mouthed to him, “Don’t you fucking dare.”

Axel’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth opened to object.

I slammed my pointing finger against my lips, the international sign of shutting the fuck up.

His lips pressed together, almost pouting, and he backed off. I nodded appreciatively at him. Jesus christ. It was like trying to wrangle a cat. The creatures just do whatever they want, but occasionally yours and their desires align. And that’s when you could cooperate with them.

Jye had walked to the gym’s back entry and was holding it open. “I got some XXXX in the staff fridge, if you guys are keen. Axel, you gotta pay for yours.”

The crash of another window storefront smashing nearby was all it took to convince me to follow them inside. Axel trailed me in, dour expression and all. We passed through the hallways connecting the different rooms to the staff kitchen, a dingy closet sized shoebox with a bar fridge, microwave, sink, and a single table and chair. Axel proceeded to take the only available seat, and Jye cracked open the fridge to retrieve the promised alcohol.

“To be honest, I really don’t understand what you’re talking about when you say Dungeons and joining a party. Like, my high is definitely dead, but those words mean pretty much nothing to me.”

With my eyes I tried to communicate with Axel to explain, but he avoided my gaze.

This fucker.

I took a deep breath and then attempted to lay out the broader points of what had happened, as well as our plan, which when I said it aloud really didn’t amount to much more than make a group and go look for something. After a solid fifteen minutes, I had thoroughly explained everything I knew so far. Jye took the entire thing in silence, sucking on their lower lip, a solemn expression on their face.

They blew a raspberry. “So, the gist of it is, the modern world is over, life’s a game, and you want me to help you guys win it?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it. You in?” Axel asked.

“Man, if you had just led with that, this would’ve gone so much faster. Of course I’m in. Fuck capitalism. I’m sick of the grind. If you’re telling me I never have to work a day in this sweaty ass gym again, I’m in. Where do I sign?”