In an awkward silence, Jye had helped me as we set up a makeshift med bay for Axel and Wren. We’d barely spoken since I’d lashed out at them during the chaos. It burdened my conscience, but as we worked I couldn’t find the words to apologise or explain my reaction. It had been ugly directionless anger that had turned Jye into collateral. I’d have to address it later, unfortunately. I simply didn’t have the mental bandwidth to get into it now.

When I’d examined Axel’s wound, it had healed over. The scarring was ugly, jagged and raised, but definitely closed. I was worried about any internal damage that he had suffered, but there’d be no way to check that. Hopefully whatever passive healing we had would fix that. It was worrying how much empty faith I was putting in things lately.

Wren slept well. Axel and I took turns in guarding the resting part of the group. Though I doubt either of us got much sleep. The events of the past day seemed to replay in my mind without pause. Axel had almost died. I’d almost killed him. Just to save a fucking cat. Chrissie shouldn’t affect me so much anymore.

Why was I so weak?

Trying to distract myself from my thoughts, I summoned the status window and was pouring over the different windows we could access. It seemed like every time something new happened another screen would appear. But it also appeared as though the windows reacted to our understanding of events. Maybe if I spent time studying them and thinking about it any way I could, I’d be able to learn more about it. It was better than dwelling on my guilt, at the very least.

It was while doing this that I realised Wren’s class had changed.

She was no longer listed as a Scourge in our party list, but was instead a Synergist. It explained her ability to heal. But how had she swapped classes? Did she have some sort of trait that let her lie about her class? An ability? If she did have that ability, what good would it do? Unless… Perhaps she was anticipating future opponents who would read one’s status windows? It wasn’t too far-fetched, especially in RPGs. Was Wren truly thinking that far ahead? It wouldn’t have been surprising from Axel, since he seemed so switched on, but from a young girl… She had to be hiding more than just her ability to supposedly change classes. Especially with the sudden change in her vernacular.

The system we all were supposedly in seemed less than perfect. Jye’s stats were bugged, Wren might have access to two classes. If this was just two out of the four of us, that meant it was possible 50 percent of humanity on Earth had just as messed up statuses. I could imagine the Steam reviews now. Overwhelming negative. One of my friends loaded in and couldn’t read their own status screen! Completely unbalanced character creation randomizer. No tutorial. No explanation for how to even win the game. 0/10. IGN would probably still have given it four stars.

“Your sister is gone, huh?” Jye said.

The voice startled me as I had thought they were asleep. It was my turn on watch, to check on Wren and Axel as they recovered. But sleeping right now felt impossible for me and it must’ve been the case for Jye too. We were in a strange place, with strange people doing strange things. There was no way sleep would easily come.

“Yeah. Her name was Chris.” I smiled, remembering her cute scowl. “She hated that it was so boyish. Demanded we call her Chrissie.”

They rolled to their side, propping their head up on a bent arm. “Did she… pass away when the Gates appeared?”

I shook my head. “No, it was ages ago now. She was about the same age as Wren, actually.” I paused, ready to defend myself against an attack on my lapse of judgement, but it seemed none was forthcoming. Still feeling a need to justify my actions, I said, “It’s not the only reason I asked Wren to join our party, but it’s a big one.”

Jye was silent as they took it in. Usually Jye was easy to read, wearing their heart on their sleeve even if they didn’t speak that much. Had I met them in my day-to-day life, I probably would’ve classified them as the golden retriever type. Head empty, but positive vibes and energy. That’s if you weren’t Axel, at least.

“I had five siblings. Three brothers, two sisters. About a year difference between each one of us,” they said, green eyes unfocused.

“Had?”

“Like I said, I’m no contact with my family. I have no idea what they’re doing, and they have no idea what I’m doing. It’s better that way.” They sighed, deep and long. Their expression was complicated, too many different emotions layered onto each other. “If for a moment I thought any one of them cared about me the same way you do about your sister, I probably would’ve stayed. Even despite everything.”

This was more I’d heard from Jye talk about themself the entire time I’d known them. It helped me stop thinking about Axel’s shallow breathing, and Wren’s unconscious body, both of which were my fault. “You moved out pretty young then?”

Jye’s top lip curled. “Wasn’t really a choice. My parents didn’t really understand who I was. Were scared about what I was. But that’s life, you know? Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose.”

I was silent for a moment, letting the thoughts settle. In this day and age, how did people have kids and then treat them so poorly? It shocked and appalled me.

“They kicked you out?”

They sat up, and pulled their knees in close, hugging them to their chest. Jye’s voice was muffled through their legs. “Sometimes they pretended I wasn’t there at all. Sometimes everything bad was my fault. I could deal with that, but I think the worst was when they acted like I was a stranger.”

Jesus christ. Jesus fucking christ. The worst I was expecting was their parents abandoning them. But this… This was just child abuse. Child neglect. Call it what you want, it was wrong. Why hadn’t anyone reported their parents? When Axel had come out, our parents had thrown him a party, where unbeknownst to them Axel had lost his V plates. The stark contrast between the parenting styles was enough to give me whiplash.

“I’m sorry. No one deserves to be treated like that.”

“I know. Well, I know that now. It took awhile to get there, but I know who I am and I know there’s nothing wrong with that.” They hesitated, and closed their eyes. “But sometimes I think about them, you know?”

“Your parents?”

“My siblings. We were close once. When I was forced out, they avoided me, followed suit with my parents.” They breathed in and opened their eyes, staring into my soul. “Do you think they cared about me at all? Because I left them all there, and I never looked back.”

How did someone answer a question like this? What was I doing in a Dungeon with a person I’d met less than a week ago baring their soul to me? And why me of all people?

Still, I considered their words, trying to find what I wanted to say. I had lost Chrissie in a similar way, even though the situation was completely different. And part of me had been stuck there, always, wondering if I’d done anything differently if things would’ve changed. If things would be different now. If Chrissie would be alive.

“Jye… That you’re asking me this means you have looked back.” Their mouth opened, like they wanted to interrupt, but I waved them away. “In fact, what you actually want to ask isn’t if they cared about you, is it?”

They snorted. “Look at you, acting like some sort of therapist.”

I ignored their provocation.

“You want to ask if it’s okay for you to still love them. Despite everything.”

A long silence fell between us.