Onism
The awareness of how little one person can experience
Early one evening, I woke from a weary afternoon nap to find my lover at his desk, frantically scratching at a piece of paper. I sighed, noticing that his broken arm, although still firmly splinted, was not in its sling. I got up out of our bed and grabbed the sling from the bedside table, walking over to him.
“I’m fine, Elkan, this is more important right now,” Ethyn said when he heard me come up behind him.
“More important than your health?” I asked. “You can’t relay messages with only one arm. I know you can write with both hands, but still.”
Ethyn heavily sighed, accepting my help in getting his sling on. “Thank you.”
I hummed, nodding. I hugged him from behind, chin resting on his shoulder, looking down at the scraps of paper. Star runes. “More messages?”
Ethyn heavily sighed, “Some of the inner-city informants saw a royal carriage leaving the capital a few days ago, followed closely by a cell carriage.”
I frowned, “That’s odd.”
“Indeed. They were headed this way, we know that much. But, there’s not much we can do about it until or unless we spot them ourselves.”
I hummed, looking at the star runes in interest.
Ethyn caught my interest, “Do you want to try to read them?”
I couldn’t help but scoff. “I can barely read whatsoever and you want me to read star runes?”
“Just give it a shot,” Ethyn offered.
I sighed, but gave in.
The star runes were collections of lines and dots, arranged in differing patterns based on the message they wanted to convey. To any other person, they might’ve looked like drawings of constellations, or perhaps simple doodles done on a boring day.
“This one means ‘royal’, right?” I asked, pointing to one part of the drawing. “Or maybe ‘high class’?”
“You’re right, on both accounts,” Ethyn nodded with a smile.
“Ah, and this means ‘carriage’. Let’s see, the ‘royal’ is attached to the ‘carriage’, but this piece…. Oh, this must be ‘cell’ or ‘prison’ then, right? ‘Cause both ‘royal’ and ‘cell’ are attached to ‘carriage’, meaning that there were two of them.”
“Precisely!” Ethyn’s smile grew proud, and my chest swelled a bit. “This message from the inner city states that‒” he pointed to each part of the message as he said it, “‒a royal carriage and a cell carriage left the city a few days ago.” He tapped the bottom of the drawing, which held a few squiggles that probably would’ve looked like clouds to anyone else. A date. “Three days, to be precise.”
My face paled, “It’s a three-day journey by horse from the Dragon Crest Mountains to the capital city.”
“Indeed,” he solemnly nodded. “I need to alert Stefan to this, so we can send a scouting party. Would you like to come with me?”
I nodded in agreement, standing up to follow him out of the room.
As expected, we found Stefan in the infirmary, sitting beside Marek, who was still cold and unmoving, but who had briefly woken up the previous day and had insisted he hold my hand in forgiveness. Somehow, our leader didn’t seem surprised to see us. Ethyn and I quickly relayed the message, and it was Stefan’s turn to pale.
“They can’t know we’re here, right?” I softly asked, careful not to disturb Marek, despite knowing that he was in a deep sleep. “I mean, the mountains are pretty confusing to someone who doesn’t know them, plus there’s tons of old mines just like this one!”
“We shouldn’t take any chances,” Stefan shook his head. “Do we know where the caravan is now?”
Ethyn shook his head, “We only have so many informants, and a lot of them steer clear of the royals.”
Stefan hummed, “Well. We can’t have a royal this close to our mountains, to our home. Do we know which royal it is? The emperor and empress have three children, do they not?”
“Ah, yes, but…,” Ethyn looked at his notes. “Lysandre and Kalliope are too young, and I have a previous message stating that the older one left the palace with a hunting party; he does that a lot. So, it must either be the emperor or the empress.”
Stefan hummed again, slowly nodding. “Thank you, boys. I’ll deal with this.”
⸺ ☽ ⚜ ☾ ⸺
“What’s it like?” I asked when we were back in the safety of our room.
“What’s what like?” Ethyn replied.
“Being a night child,” I said. “Being a messenger, I mean. You’re pretty much the only night child ‘round here, aside from Wren, and she’s only half night child. You’re one of the few that’s blessed with a voice, and you can read and write properly….”
“A lot of people can read and write.”
“Most people can’t, though,” I whispered. “Not here, anyway.” I looked up at him, at his long black hair and purple eyes. If both of us were night children, we would’ve looked like siblings. Maybe even twins. “What’s it like? To be so important? To have all this knowledge of the world?” I glanced past him, to the large map of Esan, as well as the countless star charts. “You know so much and…. You read all these messages, translate them, decode them, explain them to us…. What’s it like? To know things.”
He chuckled, “I don’t have all the knowledge of the world, Elkan.” His smile turned sad. “I’ve learned only one thing.”
“And what’s that?” I asked.
His smile, somehow, turned even sadder. “Knowledge increases sorrow.”
I frowned, “Then why do you do it?”
He sighed, “Because, if I don’t, who will? So many night children are so quick to hide away. They need someone to look up to; a blessed one, one who has a voice…. Like me. And this rebellion needs a way to send coded messages that won’t make any sense if they fall into the wrong hands. And we need someone to code and decode those messages. And, if I don’t do it, who will?” He sighed again, deeper this time. “Everyone has skills, Elkan. And, the biggest sin of all, I think, is not utilizing those skills in attempts to make the world a better place.”
I hummed, turning onto my side. “...What’s my skill?”
Ethyn leaned down to kiss my temple. “Sometimes one’s skill can take a while to find. And there’s nothing wrong with that. And there’s nothing wrong with just helping others with their skills, with just being the best person you can be.”
“Is it…. Is it possible for a person to have no skills?”
Ethyn hummed, thinking, “No, I don’t think so. I think some skills are harder to find than others, but I believe that everyone has a purpose.” He kissed my cheek. “You just need‒”
Our gentle moment was interrupted by a scream.
I shot into a sitting position. “That sounded like Gina!”
We ran for the common area, where the caverns opened up into a large area patched with wooden bridges and platforms, eventually leading upwards into the forest and mountains that surrounded us.
A small crowd had gathered near the base of the stairs. A tumble of rocks and plants had come loose. Rockslide? I hadn’t felt any tremors, although it was easy for such things to happen, especially in this larger area, with the voices of all these people, especially the children, bouncing off the walls.
“What happened?” Ethyn asked Diego, who was trying to comfort a shocked Gina.
“I-I don’t know,” Diego frantically said, grey eyes wide. “Something came tumbling down the shaft a-and‒”
I looked past him, eyes slowly widening. I nudged Ethyn, getting him to follow my gaze. He softly gasped, good hand shooting up to cover his mouth in shock. Surprised and confused whispers shot through the small crowd of rebels as Cornelius dared to get a bit closer to the person that had fallen into our home.
A person who reeked of blood and pain and tears, with bare feet and raw wrists.
A person with curls as red as the flames of Jalinii.

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