Kayla Franks Helman, Queen of the Veil and wife of Havik Grace Helman, was one eyebrow tick away from finally telling her husband to pound sand. She’d always known what kind of a person he was, that he was logical, meticulous, serious, and had an almost one-track tactical mind. But he could also be sweet, loving, playful, and funny. He used to surprise her with trips, small gifts, nights out on the town, romantic nights in, and self-prepared meals which often didn’t come out that great. She didn’t care though; he had put in the effort for her and she loved him for it.

He hadn’t done a damn thing for her in years, not since a few months before Tristan was born. They still worked together, still got along for appearances sake, but when they were home, they barely spoke, and even less frequently saw each other. She had blamed it on the situation they were in at the time, that Havik was giving into the stress, but in her soul, she knew better. 

Havik was pulling away from her and the kids, shutting them out, and growing more and more distant with each passing day. 

However, none of that seemed to bother her, even though she knew it should. Kayla had her own things to do, her own programs to oversee. She didn’t have the time, nor the energy to care about Havik or her own children. Least of all Julian. She covered that coldness with her work, grateful for the original “garden” Havik had given her. She had been less than thrilled when it was disbanded. But she managed to build off it, growing a field that stretched through every Realm and produced bounteous results. 

The Angel’s Trumpets had been good, but the Flower Urchins were better. Even though they were new, the team of assassins that she now controlled was more efficient, more tightly contained, and worked more fluidly together. The stunts Noah had pulled were no longer allowed. There was no leaving and disappearing without notifying another teammate or Kayla herself. Relationships were strictly forbidden, it didn’t matter if they had found their soulmate or not. If that did happen, however, they were to be released and their memories wiped of their time as assassins. It was the kindest thing Kayla thought to do.

Otherwise, as far as she was concerned, any relationship was a hindrance that had to be avoided in order for her fish to swim safely and confidently through the oceans of blood they had to create.

When it came to her own relationship with Havik, she held nothing but regret and disgust. When they’d first learned of their connection when they were still kids, she’d been wary, wondering if that meant they had to get married when they were older. “We don’t have to get married if we don’t want to,” he’d told her. “Pater says that there are soulmates who never get married, they just stay friends.”

 Of course, that didn’t happen. If he hadn’t asked her to be his Queen, to rule at his side, she never would have had to admit to herself that she was in love with him. 

They wouldn’t have had their kids.

Kayla’s hand twitched and she set her coffee cup down next to her tablet, her eyes no longer reading the report it contained. She sat back and looked out the window, at the gorgeous vista showcasing a magnificent waterfall flowing from a mountain flourishing with life of all kinds. She could hear the rushing water from her place in the castle, the only sound calming enough to earn her attention. She cast her focus to it and nothing else, trying to keep her mind from the three children she rarely ever saw these days.

Tanya had been dating Nickolai Verikof, a lesser god from Serbia, for almost five years now. They were solid, happy, truly in love and accepting of their match as soulmates, something Kayla couldn’t say for herself and Havik. She enjoyed watching her daughter with Nico, how she seemed to light up and fill the room with her brilliance. The bigger god didn’t speak much, but when he did, Tanya listened, and vice versa. They communicated well together, trusted each other, depended and relied on one another.

You felt that way about me once. Havik’s voice was faint in her mind, but still there. She ignored it. 

She folded her arms across her chest, suddenly wondering how her eldest was. Tanya had left a few weeks ago with Nico and several others on a mission Kayla assumed was related to the selection, though Tanya hadn’t been clear about it. Not that she could blame the girl; Kayla wasn’t a very easy person to talk to anymore. She expected that was one reason why Tristan wasn’t around as often, either. The boy may be ten but he still had duties to fulfill, lessons to learn, areas to be familiar with for when he one day took over Havik’s role as King. 

He traveled a lot with his friends, worked on his energy manipulation skills, and didn’t argue when he had new lessons to learn.

Not like Julian…

She clenched her teeth, her nails digging into her arm. 

Her middle child, her oldest son…her own personal Toji Kanaki. She sighed low in her throat and glanced back at her tablet. If he wasn’t so impulsive, so headstrong and reckless, he would have made a great King. However, he adamantly refused the title, telling his parents in no uncertain terms that he would not be pinned down in a cold castle full of people he never saw.

That was how he saw their family; splintered, separate…cold. These days, Julian was rarely ever home. He’d complete a job and move right on to the next without a backwards glance. If he did take a break, he’d only stay a few days and be gone again, scouring every town and city in every Realm, above and below, for some elf he hadn’t known all that long before he was killed in a catastrophic earthquake four years ago. It drove her nuts that Julian wouldn’t just accept his loss and move on. 

It was just a damn crush…he needs to let it go…

There was a tapping on the door, breaking her from her thoughts. She inhaled sharply and cleared her throat. “Yes?”

The door opened slightly, a maid appearing with a tiny bow. “Prince Tristan to see you, Ma’am,” she said simply.

Kayla nodded, motioning without a word. The door opened wider and Tristan Franks Helman walked in, a stoic expression on his young face. The door closed and he closed the distance between himself and his mother, stopping ten feet or so from her.

Kayla let her eyes wash over him, taking in his tall, lanky frame, his combed blonde hair, his sharp ruby red eyes, his fair skin and rounded features. He looked very much like Hero probably did when he was a boy. When Tristan got older, his features were likely to become sharper, more defined. When that happened…she sighed to herself. She didn’t expect she’d see him much by then anyway, so it didn’t matter who he looked like.

“Welcome home,” she said with a small smile, affecting a kindly tone. “How was your trip?”

“It went well, thank you,” the boy responded perfunctorily with no smile, his hands folded behind his rigid back. “We went and visited the ruins in Italy, the ones that came before the Reconstruction.”

“You went to Rome?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“What did you think of it?”

A small glint came and went in his eye and he fought back the tiny grin that threatened to make an appearance on his thin lips. “It was a good learning experience,” he said with some effort. 

Gods forbid he admits he had fun.

“I’m sure it must have been,” Kayla said. “I wanted to go years ago but we never got the chance.”

“If you like, I can arrange for you to go,” Tristan said.

Kayla winced slightly. Having a child make travel arrangements for her did not sound at all appealing. Especially when he didn’t offer to go with her. “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you,” she said.

Tristan fidgeted in the way a child does when they’re trying not to fidget. 

Kayla gave a patient smile. “Is there something else?”

She could see him fight himself to stay calm, to keep his words from rushing. “Is…I mean, has Julian arrived home yet?” 

She shook her head. “No, he left a few days ago,” she said, watching as the faint spark of hope died in his eyes. She may not be very close to her kids, but she was glad that her kids were at least close with one another. Deep within her, it bothered her that she wasn’t at all affected by her lack of reaction to his disappointment. She simply picked up her coffee cup and took another sip.

“Oh,” he said softly, his shoulders drooping a little. “I was hoping I would get to see him.”

“Lords Hawk and Hero hired him for a hunting expedition,” she said, ignoring the tone in her son’s voice. “He’ll be gone awhile.”

“Where did he go?”

She shrugged. “Last I heard he was heading for Helman Hall.”

Tristan’s eyebrow twitched but he said nothing. 

“He probably won’t be there long, though.”

The boy nodded. “Expeditions don’t usually begin and end in one location.”

She smiled over the rim of her cup. “No, they don’t.” She took another sip and set the cup down. “Tanya will be home later today, according to the message her Guard sent, anyway.”

He brightened again. “She will?”

She nodded. “Have you gone to see your father yet?”

Once more, she saw the light in his eyes fade. Why do I despise that look of happiness so much in my own child’s eyes?

“No, Ma’am, not yet,” he said, averting his gaze.

“Be sure you do,” she instructed. “He’ll likely want a full debriefing of your travels.”

He swallowed. “Yes, Ma’am,” he said in a hollow voice. After a moment he added, “I’m glad to see you well.”

Her gaze shifted and remained on her tablet. “Thank you,” she said. “I won’t be joining you for dinner tonight as I have a meeting to attend. I appreciate you coming to see me beforehand.”

He bowed slightly, his fist over his heart. “Yes, Ma’am.” With that he turned and strode from the office.

Kayla watched him go with a dispassionate air, sighing as the door clicked gently behind him. Her gaze went back out to the waterfall. The Veil was a beautiful, warm place, full of life and peace. It was the perfect representation of the life Hawk and Hero wanted for themselves and their family. For the most part, every last member, immediate and extended, exemplified it.

Not her house. 

In all the Universal Core, in the whole of their families, their slice of paradise was the coldest to be found anywhere.

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