The night before the wedding.

“And that, my lovely, is checkmate,” I informed my companion with a smug smile. 

She had claimed to be a chess master, but this was the third time I’d beaten her. I was three for three at that point, so I think I had the right to be smug. 

My opponent, who was also my date for the night, was Carsyn de Vray, my fourth cousin on my father’s side and third cousin on my mother’s. 

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Not only was I on a date with my cousin, but we were related on both sides? Kind of messed up, right? But that’s being a Royal for you. Silver hair with silver hair begets the golden-eyed heir, and making that child was our calling.  

“Clearly, you are cheating, Sir Evan,” she replied, narrowing her eyes, “I’ve never done so poorly against an opponent.”

“Clearly, you are not as skilled as you think,” I shot back, taking a leisurely sip of my wine. 

I’d known what going out into the inner city would mean. At the time, I’d decided it was worth it. The chance to show the Marquis of Ramport and his beastmen companions around the city was a rare escape from the monotony of the Palace. I'd had more fun playing tour guide for an afternoon than I’d had in the past few years combined. Besides, I couldn’t have avoided my duty much longer anyway. 

Once we were behind closed doors, however, the flirtatious vixen who had approached me at the inner city café vanished, and in her place, an intelligent, witty, and rather delightful young woman appeared. One who had absolutely no interest in performing her duty and informed me of that fact without the slightest hesitation.

Not many people outside of the inner city are aware of this, but refusing to perform one’s duty was a punishable offence for us Royals. Declaring one's disinterest in such a bold manner would normally be a very risky move. If I were a different type of man, I could have pushed the issue to the point of getting her thrown in the dungeon for the night if she didn’t consent. Lucky for her, I wasn’t that type. 

Actually, quite the contrary, I was well known in certain circles for being “courteous,” or so I had been told. But I couldn’t really take all that much credit, given that I was indulging myself by not indulging. In any case, we were both getting what we wanted out of the night, and that was good enough for me. 

“Tell me, Sir Evan, what is your goal in all of this?” Carsyn suddenly asked me, her tone taking a more serious turn. 

“To win at chess. What other goal could I possibly have?” I replied offhandedly as I set up the board for a new game.

“No, not that,” she said somewhat sharply, “I mean the fact that we’re playing chess at all. What do you get out of not performing your duty?”

A flicker of unease stirred in me. I was suddenly nervous about where this was going. Perhaps I’d misinterpreted. Did I just fail a test? Was she planning to report me? 

No, that didn’t make sense. She was the one who’d said she wasn’t interested. If that had been what she wanted, then I would have agreed. Regardless of the request, I never said no to a lady. I knew better.  

“Let me be upfront with you, Sir Evan,” she continued, looking at me with an unreadable expression, “Sera is my lover. I assume you remember her?”

How could I forget? Sera was my first pairing and one of my dearest friends. 

We met when we were just barely eighteen, the age at which Royals first enter the competition to produce the next King. My mother thought we’d be a good match, and in some ways, she'd been right, just not in the way she’d expected.

Sera and I were together for three moon cycles before we were deemed fruitless and told to move on. However, the truth was that we had never really put any effort into bearing fruit. 

On our first night, Sera had shakingly confessed to me that she had no desire to lay with a man, both a treasonous and blasphemous confession. I had assured her that it was okay, and that I would abide by her choices, but I conveniently forgot to mention that I had no desire to lay with a woman either. She probably figured out that part for herself, though. 

As a result, we were intimate only once, the required amount to ensure she was no longer a virgin for her next pairing. It wasn’t necessarily a bad experience, since we treated the whole thing as a bit of a joke, but neither of us found pleasure in the act.   

Needless to say, I kept her secret, though I could never bring myself to trust her with mine. 

But still, after Sera, more than half of my encounters ended with chess. I’m smart enough to put two and two together; there was no question she’d had a hand in it. My only regret was that the men were more fastidious, and I couldn't offer her the same courtesy.     

“How is Sera these days?” I asked with genuine interest.

“She’s doing better,” Carsyn replied, smiling softly at the thought of her lover, “but she still struggles with performing her duties. We both do.”

“Well, your secret is safe with me, if that's what you were worried about,” I informed her, meeting her eyes so she could see the truth in mine, “I wish the two of you nothing but happiness, and I won’t cause you any problems.”

“I didn’t think you would,” she stated with certainty, “but you still haven’t answered my question. It is… odd that you don’t cause any problems.”

My eyes narrowed, “Is it truly so odd that I prefer to abstain?”

“Yes, it is,” she replied flatly, “Not that I take any issue with it. I simply wish to understand you better. You see, we’ve been talking, Sera and I, and if one or both of us could conceive with you, then we would be safe from future pairings. I understand that the two of you never properly tried?”  

Ah, now I understood where she was going with this. 

Once a couple was deemed fruitful, they could choose to be married, and Royal men weren’t limited to a single wife. It had been long enough since our first pairing that no one would question Sera and I trying again, and Carsyn and I had never tried before. 

It could be justified, and it was likely to work. Producing some children together would certainly be a small price to pay for all three of us to have some measure of freedom.  

“Carsyn, if circumstances were different, I would be more than willing to try, but I’m afraid I can’t offer you what you are looking for,” I sighed, feeling genuinely sorry that I had to decline.

“But… but why?” she asked, her shoulders instantly slumping at my rejection, “Forgive my presumption, but wouldn’t this benefit you as well? I’m not a fool, Sir Evan. I’ve never once thought your motivations are entirely selfless. Do you not trust us?” 

“It’s not that,” I told her gently, “I’ll be going to the Beastlands after the wedding. There’s a delegation of Palace knights going there to train and I’ve secured myself a spot. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but it’ll be quite a while. A few moon cycles at the least, possibly longer, and I don't want to make any promises I can’t keep.”

“What about when you come back then?” she inquired meekly, the hope in her eyes not yet extinguished.

“If I come back, then I’m willing to try,” I offered, wishing I could promise her more, “but I don’t want to give you any false hope. In all honesty, I hope to find a way to stay there.”

“You’ll have to come back eventually,” she insisted, “There’s no way they’d allow you to leave for good.”

“Probably not, but I’m still going to try,” I replied with a faint, sad smile. 

She was right and I knew it. A brief vacation was probably the best I could hope for, but I wasn’t going to give up without a fight. 

If there was a way out, I was going to find it.