A booming voice screamed. “My wares!” It echoed after the two companions, creating a small breeze that hit Enoki in the chest. 

“Daikon! What is going on?” Ze turned hir head to see a new pack on his back, filled with papers and books. “Did you steal that?”

“Only from the black market.” He skidded around the turn, taking large strides towards the wagon. “I needed information. They wouldn’t share. Or sell. But I got some things for you too, my beloved.”

“I don’t think En’mat is gonna care about that!” Ze started making hir feet run in midair so ze could hit the ground running. Literally for once.

As Diakon set hir down he used his now free hand to knock over a pile of boxes. “I got something for her too.” He shouted, jumping onto a poor merchant’s cart as he did. “Can’t have a potential rival or lover be too upset after all.”

“I thought you liked fighting.” Enoki spun around the merchant, shouting a sorry as ze held the food above hir head.

Daikon’s normally smiling face was in a frown as he noticed the centaur pursuers catching up. “Well, not all fighting is equal. Can’t stand an envy fight. Not attractive at all.”

Enoki looked back, the heat from hir food starting to get through the gloves. Ze didn’t want to risk losing the food. But ze needed hir hands. Enoki sighed. The food would have been so good. 

With a heavy sigh, Enoki opened hir mouth as wide as ze could and shoved the three baskets inside.Enoki would have preferred to eat them later but there was no telling how long this would take. The food could get cold! Or be lost. Although ze wasn’t sure this was much better. While the spices were there, enoki could barely taste them. Covering them up was the straw woven baskets that were crunching and bland. The smooth eggshells crunching like rocks between hir teeth. There was an overwhelming taste of salt and oil now, especially since the baskets had obviously been used many times and had slowly taken up the flavor of both. The sharp and crunchy textures were met at least with the soft grilled meat and flatbread. But it was too hard to enjoy any of it for what it was.

With great disappointment, Enoki stopped chewing for a moment. Ze could feel her head now too large and top heavy, nearly making hir fall backwards. Closing hir mouth ze gave a hard swallow. Ze could feel it go down like in those old cartoons, hir neck and stomach growing to accommodate the food before shrinking down.

“Ok, so are we fighting or running?” Ze asked, partly to distract from her rushed meal.

“Swinging by the wagon, tossing the bag before circling back and holding them off until the special enchantment is applied by the others.”

Enoki, with a calm glance, saw the centaur merchants closing in. Well, cartoon physics was working for now. Ze used one hand to grab onto Diakon and the other grabbed a nearby lamppost. The glowing crystal inside the glass container shook as ze used hir body to help swing the pair around a corner. As Enoki let go, Daikon tucked himself into a ball and rolled down the road. With only the slightest of pauses, he jumped to his feet and kept running.

The shapeshifter was less graceful. Ze swung around once, twice, three times before hir feet smacked into a centaur’s head. If Enoki had normal bones, ze was pretty sure hir foot would be broken from that centaurs rock-like skull. With a yelp, Enoki let go of the pole and went flying down the road, Daikon quickly disappearing from sight.

One would think this would make Enoki mad.

Enoki wasn’t mad.

“DAMNIT!”

Ok, maybe a little bit mad. Mad and annoyed. Those centaurs could outrun and out-jump hir. Ze’d get caught on hir little human legs.

Wait.

Human.

Enoki scrambled to hir feet, stray sand causing them to slide back and forth as ze worked to move forward. Ze focused on trying to make a centaur body. A long lower torso, four strong legs, rock hard hooves. Trying to make something so specific that wasn’t human-based was more difficult. Not to mention the fact that just because ze had the legs, ze couldn’t automatically use them. Ze had to fight to keep hir newly formed legs from tripping over each other as ze ran, Enoki could see the frightened looks of many in the marketplace. 

Maybe this was a bit much? But surely ze just looked like a normal centaur. Maybe it was the lack of ears? Or maybe the size. Everyone looked decently smaller right now. While Enoki processed this, Daikon threw the bag to En’mat who was staring at the two. Just staring. No shouting or scolding. It was odd. 

Crackle bounced up above the wagon, letting out a loud bellow. “Orc! They are gonna catch you!”

As the words finished echoing, Enoki managed to catch up to Daikon. “Did you really have to ditch me?”

“You would be fi-” Daikon turned as he spoke, his last word caught by a rare yelp of surprise. “What in the wild overgrowth are you trying to be right now?!”

“A centaur?” 

Enoki looked back and saw two things.

First, the Centaurs had fallen back during the initial shock.

Second, ze had become the wrong king of centaur.The horse kind. No wonder everyone was freaking out. 

“Guess I’m going to be an urban legend soon. Get on!” Ze grabbed Daikon’s arm and started to pull him up.

Daikon grinned, seeming to hold back some choice words. “Very well.” 

In a single swift movement, the orc was on Enoki’s back and ze tried to pick up speed. Ze was pretty sure this form could handle sandy roads. If ze remembered correctly, horses were originally from desert regions back on Earth. At the very least, in those romance movie scenes with horses at the beach, they never seemed to have trouble. Which hopefully meant running on the sand directly shouldn’t be an issue. 

A sharp turn and ze was cutting across the gulf beach. By now Threads had finished adapting the clothing so the shoes were now horse shoes, much to Enoki’s relief. Daikon looked behind them, a slow chuckle quickly rising to manic laughter. Without looking back Enoki could feel the red runes glowing on his body, creating a strange mix of hot and cold. Like that muscle rub that hir mom always used after long days at work. But instead of that weird spearmint-like smell, it smelled more like movie popcorn mixed with kimchi. 

Who knew spells could smell? Only a letter difference ze supposed.

Enoki took a quick glance back. There were five centaurs after them, three of them activating green runes on their clothing as they started to suck in as much air as they could. 

“Now or never, Daikon!” Enoki shouted, the echoing laughter so loud ze could barely think. “I can’t keep you safe from that many spells!”

Daikon shot a nervous look before letting out a roar. The energy blasted outward and up into the sky. Cool. More lighting. It’d be enough to stop them long enough so they could catch up with the others. Instead of the crackling energy Enoki was expecting, the clouds began to turn a soft lavender. 

“What’s happening?”

“I didn’t have time to sort through the chaos for an ideal spell.” Daikon wrapped his arms around Enoki. “Working with the Disruptor means anything can happen unless you take time to sift through everything.”

“Wait, your spells are a gatch machine? Seriously?”

“Beloved… just run.” His voice strained to stay calm.

As Enoki picked up speed, heading towards the planned route, a small plop resonating behind them. Then another. And then in front of them. Whatever was falling out of the sky was green but had something white in the middle. As ze held a hand out in confusion, one wetly plopped on hir arm. Grabbing it, the green thing looked like a cover. The pages looked like they were made of thick mashed potatoes. 

Enoki tossed it, only for an open one to hit hir in the face. As ze wiped it away, words written in gravy smeared off the pages. The few ze caught seemed to read:

The first step to making sure you start your writing journey is to drink some water. You can’t focus without that.

“I’m sorry, did you summon self help books?” Enoki blinked away the potatoes, looking for the wagon that was speeding away at full speed. “Edible ones at that?”

“I was trying to get oil for them to slip up.” Ze felt Daikon’s weight shift. “Though this is still doing the trick. I shouldn’t complain.”

Just as he spoke, Enoki barely managed to keep from slipping, hirself. The ground was rapidly covered in the self help book food. This wasn’t going to work for hir much longer. Coming to a stop, Enoki lowered hir body as much as ze could. Hir legs twisted and warped into long coils. The bones bent and turned soft like a rubber coil. 

“Blight and infestation, what are you doing now, my monstrous spark?” Daikon tightened his grip, as if already knowing the answer.

“Like the old camp song said. Can’t go through this. Can’t go around it. Guess,” Enoki’s voice began to sing like the old song as ze sprung high into the air. “I’ll jump over it!”

Enoki watched as they started to arc down. The rain of books picked up. As they tumbled, ze forced hir body back to its normal human form. Ze felt the clothing quickly wrap around hir lower torso again before another book could smack hir. More importantly, before Kraken grabbed hir tumbling self by the leg.

“Stop getting into trouble. Both of you.” Kraken lifted Enoki’s body up so hir nose was to their own. 

“I didn’t do it, this time. I was getting snacks. Speaking of.” Enoki carefully wiggled out of the grip as ze watched Daikon go into the wagon. 

Turning around and seeing they were at the edge of the reading storm, Enoki stretched out hir hands to grab a few falling books and pull them close.

“Please tell me you aren’t going to eat those. You don’t know where they’ve been.”

The books were surprisingly warm. Enoki just grinned. “What? I used to devour books all the time as a kid.”

And with that, ze took a big bite from a book titled. ‘What Did You Expect’.