美麗, 美麗.

Simply beautiful to me.

Freckled nose, easy style,

美麗仙女 charms me with her smile.

Audrey, 真美麗

From her 仙界 by the sea.

Dimpled cheek, flowing hair,

美麗仙女, somewhere summer's there.

And when she bites her lip,

It makes me wanna bite mine with her.

And when she dances around,

It makes me wish that I knew how to dance.

And when she rubs her cheek against my collar,

It makes me really glad I washed my shirt.

And when she says my name and kinda sighs all soft and dreamy,

Then it makes me glad I'm me.

She's my 超级-Mega-Hyper-美女!

A day with her is like an extra birthday.

She likes pop music and she likes to play guitar.

She likes to smile at strangers,

Make 'em feel good to be alive,

'Til there's no strangers anymore, just friends.

超级-Mega-Hyper-美女.

Whenever she's near, it feels like Christmas.

She likes to laugh, she likes to sing, she likes it free,

And she likes me, and I love her.

Gonna take her to the grocery store, drool at the produce,

Split a pint of ice cream or two.  And you know --

Well, it's early in the song right now for an instrumental,

But I'm using it to stall for time

While I think of the best way to say to her

All the stuff I wanna say to her right now,

So she'll understand.

Um, let's see...

Huh.

Think, think...

Um, uh, hmm.

Hey, I got it!

If Ghenghis Khan and the Mongolian Hordes should ever ride into New York

With crossbows flailing, swords in the air,

Well I wouldn't let 'em get her.

That's it?  You have a whole instrumental break to think of something poetic and beautiful, and the best you can do is rave about the Mongolian Hordes?

Hey, I'm not done yet!  You have to hear the end!  It gets better.

The banshees scream for her.

Wraiths and marbles call her name.

They say, "she's so pretty, better take her to our mausoleum."

Six boogeymen under the bed wanna be her boyfriend,

But she's got me.

And I can't drive,

Don't have a job.

Couldn't ride a bike 'til I was seventeen.

I'm kind of useless in many ways,

But when imaginary monsters leer, I'll be there

With my hamster wings spread, and balloon sword in hand.

I'll bop all the evil on top of the head,

Be her knight of preposterous rabbit-thumbed splendor.

We'll feast on potatoes with sausage-link bread.

Ride my mechanical fish through the village

In armor constructed of ladybug tails,

And a banner -- an earthworm -- bright colored in crayon,

And a helmet that's made out of octopus shells.

The world isn't mine, but I don't really want it,

'Cause you let me crusade it in pig-tummied bliss,

And when the skeletons gibber a little too close and it feels like my laundry is going to explode

Then you come along

And you blow me a kiss!

You're my 超级-Mega-Hyper-美女.

Whenever you laugh, it feels like Christmas.

You like to sing, you like to smile and just be free,

And you like me!

And I love you.

And you know I can't cry,

And I can't cook a pancake,

But I can keep you safe from sad.

When the varicose knots tie your legs to the ground,

When your vision is weak and your aches are all strong,

When even with glasses you can't see the magic,

Then I'll keep you safe from sad.

Background: Going to the other end of our relationship, I wrote this for my now-wife a little while after we started dating.  If she didn't know what she was getting into before she listened to this, she definitely knew after.  Every sound in this song came from me -- either my voice, or rudimentary instruments I played badly.

Hear the whole song: https://on.soundcloud.com/5Cnn1EeYAvhZXHU742