Once more, Derby thought to herself that hours earlier she was enjoying playing her game and had no plans for the day other than staying inside. Now she stood in her backyard where two dark lords stood face to face, ready to do battle.

"Please don't break anything or hurt each other, alright?" Derby asked. "Also, don't step on my mom's plants. And if you touch my mom's cactus it will hurt really badly, trust me."

Derby's backyard was fairly spacious, mainly filled with her mom's various plants, spread out between sections of gravel, grass, and stone tiles. A brick wall surrounded the space. Brie and CC decided on one of the gravel sections, deeming it worthy enough of a ring for this bout.

"If you disobey the requests of Derby of Hope, you will regret it," Brie said.

"I think I can remember all that," CC said. "Before we begin, who is this Derby of Hope? How did you end up in this realm?"

"I'll tell you...if you can defeat me," Brie said.

Derby wasn't sure where she should be to watch a battle between friends (?) so she sat down on one of the lawn chairs. She couldn't remember the last time she had sat outside in her backyard for any reason.

CC drew her blades, and Brie clanked her wristbands together, her armor spreading across her body like water.

"Do you need a countdown?" Derby asked. "Like, three, two, one? Or Three, two, one, go? And you go on go?"

"That won't be necessary, Derby of Hope," Brie said.

The two dark lords charged at each other, Brie blocking twin strikes from CC with her wrists, sparks dashing onto the rocks at their feet. CC was incredibly skilled with her swords and graceful in her attacks, looking almost like a ballerina with some of her moves. Brie was more blunt and rough, but blocked the swords from doing any serious harm to her. Brie's punches looked like they'd knock anyone out, but CC shrugged them off. The more the two fought, the less it looked like two warriors locked in combat. It felt like Derby really was watching two friends in cosplay just roughhousing a bit.

Brie hit a headbutt directly at CC's gut, forcing her to drop her blades, which each dug into the ground. She rolled behind CC, roping her arms under CC's shoulders, locking her hands together behind CC's neck. She pressed forward on the submission, and CC groaned as she struggled to break the hold.

"Give up!" Brie said. "This is over!"

"No!" CC said. "Dang it! Let go!"

"Not until you declare me the victor," Brie said.

CC made a few more attempts to break out of the submission hold, but Brie was too strong.

"OK, I yield! Dang it! I tap!" CC smacked her hand against her shoulder.

"Mwehehe," Brie snickered as she finally let go, CC falling forward to compose herself. Brie's snickers turned to a more triumphant laugh, one fitting of a cartoon villain, complete with a signature hand pose Derby had seen hundreds of times before from characters. "Ohohoho!"

"Hey, kids!" Dani called out from the patio. "The lady is here, come chat quick!"

"OK!" Derby said. "Hey, the guy's here."

"They heard you," Colby apparently snuck out without detection, flicking Derby in the back of her head before joining her on another lawn chair. Brie put her armor away and CC sheathed her swords as the two went inside.

"Mom's pretty chill about this, huh?" Derby said.

"This isn't anything new," Colby said. "Remember that time Jess and I met that guy with the unicycle at the bus stop and went to the mall with him, and it he was from the void?"

"No? When was this?" Derby asked.

"Like three years ago?" Colby said. "This guy had perfect balance, and he kept challenging people to knock him off his unicycle, but nobody could. Emme showed up and after she tried and failed to knock him over, she chatted with him for unicycle tips for a while and then we went to the unicycle store. Then Mom showed up and helped him figure out the whole registration thing. She even offered to let the guy spend the night, just like she's doing with Brie."

"I don't remember any of this," Derby said.

"You probably just stayed in doing nerdy crap, Derbus," Colby said. "See how much fun you can have going outside sometimes?"

"I guess," Derby said.

Brie and CC returned minutes later, with Dani near them.

"That was really fast," Derby said. "You didn't beat the guy up or anything, right?"

"They were sweet as can be," Dani said. "The case worker got their info in and told them the deal for being a guest in our world. And speaking of sweet!"

Derby and Colby's mom hustled back inside, returning with slices of lime pie, the family and guests moving from the lawn chairs to a glass table with enough seats for everyone.

"Bunk bed's finished!" Aunt Emme announced as she joined them too. CC introduced herself to Emme, who also reacted oddly casually to a sword wielding

"Ah, it's been too long since this had a full lineup," Dani patted the glass table.

"So...are we good then?" Derby asked.

"Mhm, got our new friends all squared away," Dani said. "CC, we unfortunately don't have another bed free, but if you want to spend the night our couch is free."

"That will be quite alright," CC said. "That worker gave me several waystations to choose from, and converted my coin to the coin of this realm. I will begin my quest shortly for a suitable sleeping locale."

"Well, stay til you finished the pie at least," Dani said.

Derby felt strange as they all enjoyed their dessert. And oddly sweaty considered how little she did during that fight. All of this was happening too quickly, and she needed to ground herself. If she could fit a few puzzle pieces together, just something, she decided she wouldn't feel so much like she was caught in a tornado of confusion.

CC stood up. "Thank you greatly for this meal. I will be back soon enough, but I must find my lodging." She pointed at Brie. "Don't think this is over or that I've forgotten any of this, I will find out why you left your wedding. I also won't lose our rematch."

Brie stretched, throwing a cocky grin and a wink CC's way. "I'd love to see you try."

When CC left, Derby hoped to find an opening to try communicating a little bit. But the rest of her family was so chatty she wasn't sure where to talk.

"This boyfriend of Jess sounds like a true imbecile," Brie said.

"Exactly! You get it!" Colby said.

"I say you should defeat him in battle and take Jess from him," Brie said.

"Well, I dunno if I could do that but I would love to smack this dude," Colby said. "Derby, I can't believe you made such a cool friend."

"Uh...heh...y-yeah," Derby said, cursing herself for finding conversation so hard suddenly. It's just my family, and my new friend, who I didn't have any trouble talking to today. Why is it hard when everyone's around?

"I guess Sage is cool too, so maybe your friends' coolness is inverse to yours, Derbs," Colby said.

Oh crap, Sage. What would they think about any of this? Derby's best friend Sage was indeed very cool. Derby made a mental note to message them as soon as possible.

Derby barely got any words in for the entire backyard dessert, and found herself too tired to do much when the family got together for their weekly TV watching. Brie seemed to enjoy the show about superheroes doing battle, and thankfully Dani and Emme didn't pester her with questions about her world. Still, Derby felt that lost feeling by the time she was in bed, exhaustion and confusion were not a great mix. It felt surreal to have the bunk bed put together again, but without her younger sister in the top bunk this time. Brie had to curl up on her side so her legs wouldn't go over the bed, but she still found it comfy.

When the lights were off, Derby fidgeted. She had to say something or she wouldn't get any sleep. She went to another dimension, met a runaway warrior, went back, the girl proposed to her, but just a fake marriage to get out of her own wedding, and now this girl was in Derby's room, her new roommate for this weekend or however long.

"Hey...Brie?" Derby asked.

"Yes?" Brie said, voice sleepy but not the tone of someone imminently about to fall asleep.

"So...you ran from your wedding?" Derby asked.

Brie tossed and turned a bit, not answering. Then she leapt off the bed, landing in front of Derby, making the girl yelp again.

"Apologies, but it's easier to explain if you can see me," Brie said.

"I...OK, sure," Derby said.

Brie held a hand out. "There are five realms in Skarlax, my world, and each realm has a dark lord. I am from the fifth, commonly called umpteenth."

"Why don't they just say fifth?" Derby asked.

"I do not know," Brie said. "But as dark lord, there are expectations upon me. I am not the sole ruler of the realm, there are boring politicians and such who handle all the dull nonsense."

"So dark lords can just do whatever?"

"Within reason!" Brie said. "We are not quite mascots of our realms, but we represent them. I the umpteenth, CC the Penultimate to the Umpteenth. The third realm, the Middle Realm, has no dark lord currently, there is a kerfuffle deciding who will be next there. The second, called Realm of Not the First Nor the Third, But Between Those Two, is lead by a stoic, masked dark lord who I have rarely interacted with much. And lastly, the first realm, the Early Realm, gets much of the attention. Are you following?"

Brie held up the numbers with her hands as she spoke, which ended up confusing Derby more than if she was just listening to the words, but she thought that'd be rude to say.

"Y-yes," Derby said.

"The Early Realm has many strange traditions, and one of those is that each dark lord from there must marry a dark lord from another realm. They call their dark lord the Dark Lordiest, or the Darkliest, both rather silly names, yes?"

"Very," Derby said.

"It was decided that I'd be wed to the current Darkliest, Magie de Madawaska," Brie said bitterly.

"And you don't want to marry her?" Derby asked. "Is she terrible or something?"

"Oh she's terrible alright, terribly powerful," Brie said. "But truly, it comes down to this decision being made outside of either of our hands. I don't want to marry someone I didn't pick! I can't have my fate decided like that!"

"Yeah...that's scary..." Derby said.

"But fear not, Derby of Hope, my marriage to you would be one of convenience, and one I will not force you into. Say you're out at any point and I will respect it. Though I have grown greatly fond of you already in just a day, which bodes well for our friendship, don't you think?"

Derby hid her face under her blankets as she blushed. "I think you're really great too, Brie."

Derby felt a hand on her head. Brie gave her a quick pat before returning to her bunk. "That is the short version of our tale. I will do my best to not leave you lost, nor confused. I want only what's best for us."

"Mm..." Derby managed to make a noise in response. Brie fell asleep soon after, snoring loudly. That didn't keep Derby up all night. But thinking about Brie being so sweet, and caring, and attractive, the way she hefted Derby up like she was nothing, the way she talked about Derby...that kept Derby up nearly all night, her reduced to a blushing mess until dawn came.