Derby could barely see anything in the shadowed halls. It was fortunate that Brie apparently knew the place well, muttering something about cells in the east wing and a shortcut.

"Geez, can they put a light on in here?" Emme asked, rubbing her back. She was somehow able to crawl off the bench herself.

"It's so dark," Colby said. She turned her phone's flashlight on, but that didn't seem to help.

"It's Magie's power," Brie said. "It seeps into every facet of her castle."

No other monsters or guards were present on the trek from the cells to the throne room. Derby thought she would've liked to have Brie give a big speech before she opened the grand doors, but maybe that just would have built up anticipation and anxiety too much. Brie kicked one of the massive wooden doors, confidently stepping inside.

The throne room looked incredibly vast, each step echoing around them. It was hard to see just how big it was with the shadows around, but Derby could see the edges of banners for the Early Realm that were bigger than the biggest movie screen she had seen. The mage scurried around in front of the throne. Derby felt that pit in her stomach again seeing even just the outline of Magie de Madawaska, dimly lit by light from the glass windows behind her throne.

"She looked furious, my dark lord, but I know that with your might, you can easily—eep!" The mage hid as Brie walked right past her.

"I'm here," Brie said.

"Brie de Meaux..." Magie said, strumming her hands on the throne. The dark lord leaned forward, pure malice in her eyes. Like Brie, she looked beautiful and powerful, tall and muscular. Derby wasn't sure if she had jagged, spiked horns growing out of her head or if that was just a crown.

What Derby was sure of was that they were completely and utterly doomed. This dark lord was more powerful than any of the others, Derby could feel it in her bones.

Brie wasn't at all afraid. She looked ready for battle. Derby thought back to Brie and CC fighting in her backyard, but this would be something completely different. There was no way the two would hold anything back in Magie's realm.

Magie clenched her fists. "Brie de Meaux," she repeated the name, like it was something she held in great reverence and disgust in equal measure.

Her eyes glistened with pure rage...or...maybe not rage? The anger turned to something else.

"...what the freak is your problem?" The way she said problem sounded more like "problemuhhhhhhhhhh" as she trailed off into globby tears.

"Huh?" Derby asked. "What?"

Magie got up from her throne and practically tumbled down to the ground like a toddler learning to walk as she bawled. She looked even more babylike crawling toward Brie.

"Oh, don't start with this," Brie said.

"Brie, what's...happening?" Derby asked, glancing between Brie, her family, her friends. Brie seemed to be the only one who knew what was going on.

"This is Magie de Madawaska," Brie said. "Your darkliest and lordiest dark lord, everyone. The mightiest in Skarlax guided by some of the dullest wit."

Magie reached Brie's feet, looking up to the dark lord with tears streaking down her face, her nose running.

"Hello?" Magie said. "Hello? You really don't want to marry me?"

"Certainly not when you're behaving like this," Brie said.

Magie curled up on the ground, looking so pathetic that Derby got second-hand embarrassment.

"I'm...very confused," Derby said. "Is she...mad that Brie upset the political scene of Skarlax was upset by an arranged marriage not going through?"

"Who cares about any of that crap?" Magie whined. "My feelings were hurt, that's the only important thing!"

"As you can see, the councils' idea of marriage betwixt dark lords is quite different than Magie's," Brie said. "For the councils, it's a chain to ensure realms stay bound together, and to uphold a list of other traditions. Don't expect this dark lord to be a representative of the wider machinations of Skarlax. Because for Magie...marriage is..."

"It's my freaking heart and you're stomping all over it!" Magie wailed.

The others looked almost too embarrassed to speak. Only Sage looked like they had it together, but they always kept their cool.

"Oh, get up you big baby," Brie said. She poked Magie's back with her foot, then kicked her butt, the echo of which carried around the halls.

"I sent...I wanted...you beat all my monsters...and then...I took...the friends...but you..." Magie heaved, barely able to get the first half of whatever she was trying to say out, the rest falling out of her mouth in a high pitched wail. "You still don't wanna marry me?"

"I don't," Brie said. "I already proposed to someone else so I don't have to marry you."

Derby blushed as Brie gestured to her. She would have worried that Magie would attack her for this if she wasn't so baffled by the dark lord's tantrum.

"Whaaaaaat?" Magie said. "Come on, that's so mean! What the freak? When I'm right here?"

Magie pounded the ground with balled up fists, screaming incoherently.

"You kidnapped someone very dear to me, and her family," Brie said.

"And me, also," Lacy said.

"And her also!" Brie said. "That is disqualifying if you want to marry me."

"But! But!" Magie sniffed. "But I did that after you ran away! I wanted you to pay attention to me! I wasn't for real going to hurt them..."

"Well, you've assuredly done enough foolish behavior to disqualify you prior to that," Brie said. "I've made my decision. I'm marrying Derby of Hope."

Derby thought she was going to melt into a puddle like the monsters as Brie proudly declared their marriage again. And when Aunt Emme started cheering and tried to start a Derby chant, but the others didn't join in. Magie wiped her eyes and nose on her sleeve, looking directly at Derby.

"Fine," Magie got up, and marched to Derby. She grabbed one of Derby's hands and interlinked it with her own. "I'll marry Derby of Hope too, then!"

"A...wawawa?" Derby's confused little yelps did little to help her process this situation. Just moments earlier she was deathly afraid of Magie, and now the dark lord was sobbing and demanding to also marry her.

"No, Derby of Hope is mine, find your own gorgeous off-worlder!" Brie said, swatting Magie's hands so she broke the hold on Derby.

"G-gorgeous?" Derby asked.

"Ugh, that's not fair! Just marry me too so I can marry Derby of Hope also!" Magie said.

"I'm not getting into any arranged marriage with you!" Brie said.

"Can we like, wrap this up already?" Colby said.

"Honestly," Dani said. "I'd like to get started on dinner."

"See? You're keeping the Family of Hope from enjoying dinner!" Brie said. "We're leaving."

"No!" Magie wailed. "Wait, wait! Pave!"

The mage stepped out of the shadows, looking like she was straining to keep a straight face and have some dignity serving her pathetic master. "Yes, my dark lord?"

"Make them dinner or something, I don't know!" Magie said. "What do you all want for a meal?"

Brie sighed again. She too looked to the group assembled, then gave a pout of her own to Derby. "If we eat with you, one meal, one, will you leave us alone?"

Magie's sniffled. "And dessert, too."

"Then we have to stay for an after-dessert snack, and after-after dessert snack. I've been through this before, we're going home." Brie said.

"I promise I won't ask you to stay for after-after dessert," Magie said.

"M-maybe," Derby said, surprised at her own voice.

"What was that, Derby of Hope?" Brie asked.

"I...I was just thinking," Derby coughed. "Maybe we could all eat at home? So Magie can see our world, maybe?"

Magie's eyes got watery again. "You'd invite me into your home?"

"Uh huh," Derby said. "I'm sure Mom won't mind."

Dani shrugged. "I would be happy to make food for everyone, but maybe a restaurant would be best with a group this big?"

"Yeah, that'd be great!" Derby said. "There are so many good places to eat in my world, you'd have a blast!"

"I'll see if any place isn't super busy," Colby said. She checked her phone again. "Damn, I still don't have a signal, can we please just go home already?"

"I think it's about time we wrap this up, yeah," Sage said.

"It is really tiring sitting in the dark like this," Lacy yawned.

Magie rose to her feet. She was about as tall as Brie. "I suppose this would be...adequate." She wiped her tears again. "But I want to sit with you on my right and Derby on my left."

"Fine, whatever," Brie said.

"Good," Magie said. "Pave! Ready a portal!"

"Just let me do it, I don't want her to send us to the outskirts of town or something," Brie grumbled, conjuring a portal back home.

***

Elsewhere, in a place both far and near Magie's throne, another figure waited in shadows. Her own throne was long destroyed, so she merely sat on the ground where it once stood. Behind her, dim lights only slightly illuminated massive gears that had stopped turning long before. Resting against the battered machinery was a scythe, whose dangerously sharp blade glimmered.

The girl leaned back, lying down with her hands on the back of her head, looking up through the mangled, broken roof at the sky. She could almost see some of the stars through the edges of the wrecked metal. She reached upward. The revenge she wanted felt as far away as those obscured stars.

"Someday." She clenched her fist. "Someday very, very soon."

She remained staring at the stars until her companion returned. Said companion was away, training, practicing, leaving destruction in her wake. The girl would have joined her, but she wanted time alone to rest at home. To spend some time in solitude, thinking of nothing but the reckoning they'd bring to Skarlax.

"All of the foolish dark lords will suffer," she said softly, almost joyfully. "For everything you put us through, you'll suffer ten thousand times more."

For the first time in a long time, laughter filled the halls of her home.