I continue to sit while everyone files out of the room. Just letting everything seep in and make sense. This is a whole other level than my first mission. I’m not sure what to expect this time around either.

It’s just as mama has said before, that hard part is coming back and dealing with things. We’re a little bent, a little twisted from storms, but we will keep on growing.

I stand up and trip over my own two feet, falling backwards into Jasper’s chest. He chuckles and I look up to meet his gaze. I always forget how tall he is and sometimes how handsome. He gives me that aggravating smirk though and I stick out my tongue. I stop myself from kicking his shin. “Thanks for the catch.”

“Welcome, you don’t have to make a scene if you want to get in my arms though.”

Mama coughs, signaling she’s still there. Brennen gags and pretends he’s going to throw up. I chuckle. Humor is how we all get along and keep moving forwards in tense times like this.

“Gross. What happened to the ass hole remarks, that’s too cute.” Jasper shrugs and keeps moving. We’re all out of the room and The Belly is full of noise. Our meeting felt like it took forever, but I’m glad not too many people noticed the somber mood as the boys filed out.

This mission is serious though, those people, they need a lot of help. I start counting on my hands the things that we might encounter there.

I look long and hard at everyone in our group. I can’t imagine how it’s going to be split up for so long. We can’t all go either, people need to stay here and look after the Borough. Brennen might get more letters and reports from Samara.

I wonder what she’s like in person, where she came from, how she got started on this path. She’s probably mama’s age if I had to guess.

Mama puts a hand on my shoulder, breaking me from all of the swirling thoughts in my mind. “Hey,” she flicks my forehead, “don’t think so hard, you’ll get wrinkles early that way.” We chuckle as we walk. Jasper is ahead of us, with the boys. Seems he’s feeling better after their talk this morning.

“Thanks for the reminder.” I wink at her and give her a smile. “What do you think about everything Brennen told us?”

Her eyes went distant for a moment. Probably reliving some of her old missions. “Not thrilled that he wants you to go, but I know there’s no stopping you.”

“People are dying, they need help. I know I can’t be a hero and save the world, save everyone…” I let it trail off. But if I can help even just a few a long the way, it’s worth it.

“You’re back in your head again. You know you don’t have to bear it alone. There’s a whole group of us that are going to work together to figure this all out.”

“Yeah, I know. I just want to do my part in helping others.” I stop and mama stops with me. Looking at me curiously. “The boys saved us and have done so much for us. We have a home, a life.” I gesture around us and close my eyes. “If they hadn’t saved us from being sold that day,” I turn and look into mama’s eyes, “we could still be in a similar situation. We could still need help, hoping it’ll come.” Mama smiled and ruffled up my hair. “I just want to be able to help others like that too.”

She sighs and looks up at the sky. We continue our walk back to the house. “You’re just like a bird that was caged. Trapped, but desperate to get out. Explore, find your own path.” She smiled at me, but there was pain behind the smile. “I know you’re a grown woman now, but sometimes I still want you to be the little girl I helped raise.”

I squeeze her until she complains about not being able to breathe. “You taught me well and to do the right thing.” I skip ahead a little bit and turn back to face her. “I mean, I’m not THAT old and,” I turn back and continue skipping, “I’ll always find my way back.”

“Watch where you’re…” and that’s where I tripped and fell. “going.” Mama sighs as I just laugh it off. I get right back up and dust myself off. Matching her pace as we climb back up to our place.

“I think I might take a short nap. I’m sleepy after last night.”

“Mhmm. I bet.” She raised her eyebrow as she parked herself in her rocking chair on the porch. “It’s too nice to go in yet, I’ll be here.”

I know I’m flushed after her comment, but I smile and wander on inside. I hop up the stairs and flop onto the bed. The window is open and I whistle for Ambrose. He happily flies down and perches on the windowsill.

“Hey buddy.” I go back over and pet him. “How come you don’t have a girl? I guess I keep you too busy, huh.” He just cocks his head and looks at me. Sometimes I feel like he can understand me completely, other times, well I think he just enjoys his treats and attention.

“Go have some fun today. Catch some pests in the field for Cory alright?” He hops along and then takes back off into the sky. “Now, time to nap.”

I take off my shoes and most of the clothes and get comfy in bed. Letting everything from this morning go, so I can be mentally alert and prepared for tonight.

“Jo, Jo it’s time to wake up. There’s lots to do before we prepare for the crash course.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” I rub my eyes and stretch a little. Why does it feel so heavy? I can’t sit up all the way.

I open my eyes and see Jasper, who is still asleep, on top of me. Holding me like I’m a teddy bear. “Hey, get up.” I flick his forehead and mama loses it.

“Just a few more minutes please.”

I look up at mama in shock and gesture towards Jasper. “When? Why?”

She shrugs and chuckles as she makes her way back down stairs.

“Jasper when did you get here?”

“I dunno. I came to see how you were doing and then fell asleep.”

“Right…well you’re crushing me. So get up.” I try to push him off of me, but in this position, it’s a failure. “You’re too heavy.”

“Ouch Jo. You calling me fat?”

I sigh and look down at him, moving his bangs out of his face. His icy blue eyes are dancing and full of mischief. “You know that’s not what I mean.” He smirks then gets up.

“I know.” He pulls his shirt up for me to see. “Look, no fat on here.”

I lean over and pinch his sides, “Huh, you might be developing some love handles here…”

Jasper gasps and moves quickly to the broken mirror in the corner of the room. Inspecting his sides. “There is not.” He looks back at me, pouting like a little puppy.

We laugh and continue to pick on each other as we make our way down to the kitchen. Mama being suspicious of us but I just wink and she shakes her head. She starts to bark orders and the rest of the day flies by. There’s so much to gather and prepare before we even start the crash course tonight.

We spend the next hours testing gear, weighing packs, sorting weapons and rations. It’s brutal—every item a choice between safety and speed.

By the time the dinner bell rings, my shoulders already ache. My stomach churns, not from hunger but from everything pressing closer—mission, mountain, rogues, strangers who need us.

The lanterns around the Borough are starting to be lit, which means it’s time. We eat our fill then get silent as the three of us walk to the Hold. Not really knowing what it’s going to mean for everyone as a whole. It feels so wrong to split up the group. The boys work so well together as a unit, but I guess there’s no helping it in this type of situation.

We hear the tinkle of the bell as we enter the hold. All the boys were already here. I wonder how long they’ve been standing around the table like that. I look around the room and there are piles of things every where. Some materials I recognize from training, some are completely new to me.

“Hello?” We approach them, but they must not have heard the bell. “Um, guys?” They are in a deep discussion and all facing away from us. Micah happens to see us and nods his head in our direction. Letting the rest of them know we’re here to join. They nod to us, but there’s no smiles. It’s time we get down to business with the mission.