Chapter 10

“This is ridiculous,” Abdul Jasser said. “I’m Radford’s assistant. He can’t do this to me.” He was standing in the coffee room. There was only one other person in the room with him.

Fish shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sorry, Abdul, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Abdul looked Fish over, trying to read his body language. “What did you do? Did you hypnotize him, somehow?”

Fish looked at him. He was serious. “Okay, Abdul, I need you to calm down, take a breath, and please think about what you just said.”

Abdul didn’t want to, but wound up taking the breath out of necessity. After that, he thought over what Fish had just said. He wasn’t sure how calm he could be but he said, “All right, obviously, you didn’t hypnotize the head of the Genetics department at Harvard.”

“Thank you.”

“My problem is, I’m having an impossible time understanding how it happened. I’m supposed to be doing the majority of the research this semester and you’re supposed to be teaching. I’ve already taught for a semester. What were his exact words?”

“His exact words? You mean to me? What were his exact words to you?”

“He told me you and he were working on a special project together and that I had to take over teaching your class.”

“That’s what he told me too.”

“But how could he not have told you more?”

“He told me that I would have to sign a nondisclosure agreement and that I wouldn’t be able to talk about it to anyone.”

“Yes, but he didn’t mention anything about the details of the project?”

Fish saw Abdul hanging on his every word and didn’t like it. Fish shrugged his shoulders again. “I mean… you know… it has to do with Genetics.”

“Fish!”

“Listen, I only know a little more than you do and I’ve already been sworn to secrecy. You can always ask Dr. Radford about it.”

“I’m quite certain I could but, unfortunately, Dr. Radford doesn’t answer to me, I answer to him.”

“Yes, you do. And so do I. And I’m not allowed to talk about it. Right now, that isn’t so hard because I don’t know anything. But in a week or two, I will, and you can’t interrogate me about this, okay?”

Abdul thought about everything that was happening. The truth was he wasn’t really mad at Fish; he was mad at Radford and was taking it out on Fish. And that wasn’t fair. “Fine. I promise not to interrogate you.”

Fish saw how dejected Abdul was and while he didn’t really consider him a friend, it never paid to have enemies working with you. “Listen, I’m sorry this happened. You have to understand it wasn’t my fault.”

“I understand.”

“Come on, let me buy you a cup of coffee.”

Abdul exhaled. He’d just gotten screwed out of a research project and the only things he would have to show for it were a classroom full of undergrads and a cup of coffee. “Sure come on.” He started walking.

“Where are you going? Coffee’s right here.”

“Oh, no. After what just happened to me, I deserve Starbucks.” He walked out of the room.

Fish walked out of the room and followed him down the hall. “Starbucks? Listen, I’ve got some coupons in my wallet from Dunkin Donuts--”

“Starbucks! And don’t be stingy, you’re buying me a Trenta.”

“What the hell is a Trenta?”

“A friend of mine says it’s the Latin word for bucket but I think he was joking. It’s an extra-large and so expensive, it’s stupid.”

“Abdul, come on. Can’t we go where the people behind the counter let you order in English?”

“They’re called baristas and no we can’t.”

“You understand this wasn’t my fault?”

“I do. Am I’m sure you understand, life’s not fair. But if we compare my unfairness to yours, I think you’ll see I’m being quite reasonable.”

☣

Fish stood there and inspected all of the Champagne glasses on the waiter’s tray. They all looked the same so he grabbed the closest one to him. “Thank you.”

“Certainly, sir.” The waiter took the tray and left.

Fish looked around. He recognized some of Harvard’s head honchos and a couple of captains of industry but he didn’t actually know anyone well enough to feel comfortable talking to them. Where were the other professors and assistants?

“Fish?” It was a woman’s voice.

Fish turned around.

Michelle, his favorite waitress from Grendel’s Den, was standing there with a tray of hors d’oeuvres in her hand. She seemed surprised to see him.

“Hey,” Fish said with a smile. “What are you doing here?”

“Trying to make some extra money.”

“But, it’s Saturday night. Isn’t that your best night for tips?”

“Trust me, hon, this pays way better. I didn’t know you hung out with… you know…” She lowered her voice and looked around. “These kind of people.”

“Really? I don’t give off that vibe?”

“You asked me to body-slam anyone who got in my way so that I could get your order in before happy hour ended. That’s a really different vibe.”

“I wasn’t serious. I was trying to be charming. That wasn’t charming?”

“Oh, honey, don’t get me wrong, compared to what I usually get, that might’ve been the most charming thing a guy’s said to me this semester. It’s just that, you know, men in this day and age are… lacking in charm.”

“Listen, if it makes you feel better, you’re the only person here I know--”

“Oh, my God, Fish, please tell me you’re not crashing. This isn’t the sort of party someone should crash.”

“Of course I’m not crashing. I just--”

“Xavier.”

Fish turned around at the sound of his name.

A few feet away stood Dr. Michael Radford. On one side was Dr. Cynthia Jones and on the other, multibillionaire Miles Devlin.

“I gotta go,” Fish whispered just as he turned his head but Michelle had already abandoned the suspected party crasher.

Fish walked up to the trio. “Dr. Radford, thank you for inviting me.” He stuck his hand out to be shaken.

Radford shook his hand. “Good of you to come.” He turned to Jones and said, “You remember Cynthia.”

Fish sort of bowed his head in her direction. “Yes, hello.”

“Hello, Xavier,” she said with a smile.

“And this,” Radford said, “is Miles Devlin. He’s footing the bill for our project. Miles, this is Xavier Fisher, my top research assistant.”

Fish put his hand out. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Devlin.”

Devlin shook his hand with a smile. “Please, call me Miles.”

Fish was stunned a multibillionaire was shaking his hand and encouraging him to call him by his first name. “Sure, call me Fish.”

“Fish?”

“Um… or Xavier, either one.”

“Oh, no, I’m sure I much prefer Fish, if you don’t mind.”

“No, no, not at all.”

“Thank you so much for helping us with our project. We’re very excited to have you. Michael has given me nothing but glowing comments about you.”

Fish was both stunned and stoned from the compliments. He knew he had to say something. “Thank you. I work very hard at what I do. It’s nice to be appreciated.”

“I promise you, Fish, we appreciate you. And if you and Michael are able to pull this off in a week or two, the whole world will appreciate you.”

Fish nodded. “I’ll give it my best, sir.”

“Not sir. Miles.”

“Right. Miles.”

Devlin looked him over. The kid was obviously uncomfortable being fawned over. “So, what are your plans after you get your PHD?”

Fish shrugged involuntarily. “I guess I’ll look around, see what opportunities come my way. Maybe make an opportunity for myself.”

“Xavier,” Radford said from just off to the side. “It’s men like Miles who provide the research money for men like us to be able to do what we need to do. One of the reasons I wanted you to meet him was so you could tell him your hamburger idea.”

Devlin was caught off guard. He and Radford had gone over their charm offensive on the grad student and the word hamburger had never come up.

“Oh,” Fish said lighting up with excitement. “Thank you so much.”

Fish turned to Devlin. “Miles, you know how hamburgers are delicious but really unhealthy?”

“I do,” said the man who for the last twenty years only ate the finest steaks in the world when he wanted red meat.

“And you know how broccoli is good for you but tastes kind of, bleh.”

“Yes,” said the man who loved steamed broccoli.

“What if you could go inside the DNA of broccoli and strip out all of the healthy parts and you went inside of a hamburger patty and striped out all of the unhealthy parts and then you put the healthy parts of the broccoli into the hamburger. If you did that, you would get the taste of the hamburger but the health of the broccoli.”

A smile crept across Devlin’s face. “Yes, that seems like a hell of an idea.”

“Not only would you help save people’s lives, you would make a fortune.”

“Oh, and you’re interested in making a fortune?”

“Miles, I’m at the point where I need to make a couple of fortunes. The first one to pay off my student loans, the second one to live on.”

Devlin’s smile grew. “Finally, Michael introduces me to one of his students who believes in good old American capitalism.”

“Oh, trust me, I believe in American capitalism,” Fish said. “If you look at our enormous trade deficits with both Europe and China, our capitalism is the only thing that keeps their socialism afloat.”

Devlin exploded in laughter. He laughed so hard that everyone in the room stopped what they were doing to look at him.

Even Michelle turned her head from her spot in the hallway. She saw the multibillionaire laughing as he put his hand on the shoulder of the guy she thought was kind of cute. Both the man and woman next to him were also laughing. Yeah, Fish was getting cuter right before her very eyes.

☣

“I thought that went rather well,” Miles Devlin said as he swayed the brandy back and forth in his snifter before taking a drink. The multibillionaire was feeling good about all of the things he had accomplished in the last week. Or at least, the things he had paid other people to accomplish on his behalf.

“Miles is right, Michael,” Dr. Cynthia Jones said. “Everyone had a wonderful time. Especially our new capitalist friend, Xavier Fisher.” She still had a Champagne glass in her hand.

Radford nodded his head. The get-together had gone well. Now, it was just the three of them. He held his own snifter full of brandy. “Yes, I can say with absolutely no pun intended, our Fish is definitely on the hook.”

The three of them laughed it up.

Devlin asked Radford, “That healthy hamburger idea of his… will it work?”

Radford smiled at him. “It would take some time and a lot of money... practically speaking, you would probably take out the unhealthy genetic code that leads to saturated fats out of the hamburger and replace it with the healthier genetic code of a turkey first. Then, maybe in a few years, you would take out the turkey and replace it with the healthy genetic code of something even healthier like a salmon. But to answer your question, Miles, yes you can eventually create a hamburger that is as healthy as broccoli but still tastes like hamburger.”

“Why the hell didn’t you think of it first?”

“Well, for one thing, my closest friends have been keeping me busy trying to come up with a virus that can get rid of approximately six and half billion--”

“Yes, yes, but before that.”

“I’ve been doing groundbreaking research on trying to cure cancer.”

“Yes, but isn’t heart disease our country’s number one killer? Isn’t Fish’s idea… I don’t know, easier to implement. And wouldn’t it generate more revenue?”

“Miles, what exactly are you saying?”

“I’m saying once you cure cancer, that’s extraordinary. But then it’s cured. With genetically engineered food, once you eat it, you need more. Yes, it’s much less impressive than curing cancer, but financially speaking, the potential profit is exponentially greater.”

“Maybe we can have a quick discussion about the virus,” Jones said trying to change the subject before the two men got into a heated exchange about the potential viability of genetically altered hamburgers.

“Yes,” Devlin said following her lead. “Cynthia tells me it will take three weeks.”

Radford gave her a glance, then looked back at Devlin. “No, I’m sure she didn’t say that. What she most likely said is, it’s not possible to give an accurate timetable on the next step in the evolution of genetic manipulation and three weeks is a rough, back of the napkin, approximation.”

Devlin looked at Jones, gave her a smile, then looked back at Radford. “Yes, when you put it that way, what you said does sound more familiar. Is there anything else you need that I can get for you?”

Radford shook his head. “I have everything. We will accomplish this task and then set the human race on a course correction that will lead to not only the survival of the species, but also to a healthier planet for all of the other species on the planet as well.”

He held his glass out to toast. “To success.”

Devlin and Jones clinked their glasses to his and said, “To success.”