Bernard was not your ordinary, average student.
Besides the fact that he was actually a medium sized, fuzzy bear he was also a straight-Bs & -As student. He enjoyed school, another unusual trait among ordinary, average students. He understood math well. He grasped the sciences. He even stood out in subjects like literature and art. But when it came to what made him happy, what he wanted to do with his life, these didn't give the fulfillment that he sought.
Sure, there was satisfaction of sorts in solving problems or composing poetry but they were passing feelings and when that satisfaction left, there was still a sense of missing out on his calling, so to speak.
The school career counselor was always happy to see Bernard. She didn’t often get to interview students with so much promise. She could get him into any college or university he wanted. His grades were good enough and being a fuzzy bear, there were always diversity goals that his presence could help fulfill. A ‘full ride’ scholarship could be his at numerous institutions. A student she would always remember, she anticipated helping launch him off to a promising future. This sort of thing made her happy and gave her a lasting sense of fulfillment.
Bernard graduated from his high school with honors, as expected, but decided not to start right away at any higher learning institutions. He wanted to know where he was going in his life, first. Before he committed his efforts to higher learning, he thought it was important to understand what it was he wanted to learn more highly.
He took a part-time job at a little retail store in a small city in Nova Scotia. It was a pretty town and not so terribly far from his hometown. A place big enough to have the expected amenities of city life, but a little slower, quieter than a bustling metropolis. His retailer’s tasks sometimes included standing outside with signs advertising whatever was on sale or newly arrived. Humans also often do this sort of thing but also often wear costumes to attract attention and the costumes are invariably uncomfortable. Bernard only had to wear his own self and it was perfectly comfortable.
Bernard lived in a little set of three rooms above the retail store, at a rather bargain rate because the owner liked him and liked having a trustworthy fellow about the premises even when the store was closed. Bernard was also a studious sort, and the owner never worried about sketchy guests or loud parties. Bernard mostly read or wrote or cruised the internet when he was off work.
The local library was, of course, one of his favorite places to go. It was rather well funded by the citizens of the town and he always found interesting things to check out. The librarians were fond of him because, besides just being likeable, he sometimes challenged them to find and inter-library-borrow unusual books and such.
It was on one of his trips to the library that an important thing happened.
He boarded the transit bus in front of his lodgings and showed his subscriber pass to the driver. The driver didn’t really need to see it. He knew Bernard from many and many a ride before and they knew each other by name. The driver waved and said, “Kinda full today! Hope you find a good seat.”
Bernard made his way about halfway back and though there were a very few single seats untaken, each seemed to be flanked by people that, he felt, were rather hoping no one would sit by them. So he made up his mind to stand.
A little further back, though, was a young lady sitting by one of those empties, who didn’t give off the same ‘vibe’ as the others. In a navy blue, double breasted coat with white trim, she seemed to Bernard to be rather forlorn. For some reason, Bernard made an impulsive decision to sit next to her even though there was a little backpack, the kind often used by students, in the seat.
He took the few steps toward the seat, cleared his throat a little, he said in his rather rumbly voice, “Ahhum? May I?” He almost regretted it but it was too late to turn back now. She looked up and pushed back some of her long, dark hair.
“Oh. Ummm…” and she put the little backpack down between her boots. Bernard seated himself and they rode quietly for a little while but he glanced a few times toward her and her head was again lowered and from what he could see, her face seemed melancholy.
Impulse again gripped Bernard and against his usually more-reserved and better judgment, he said, “School problems?”
Again, almost instantly he felt foolish for intruding upon this stranger. But she replied. “No, school is fine. It’s just… I’ve taken on so much and I’m feeling like I’ve let people down. I don’t know what to do right now.”
Bernard also lowered his gaze to regard the floor as she seemed to do. After a little he said, “You’re trying hard?”
“I always try hard but this time… it’s just not enough” she said quietly.
He thought about that for a few seconds. In matters like this, it’s usually best, he always thought, to think on the words and ‘feel the air’ before plunging on.
“When you give your best, and it’s not enough, often it’s that people are asking too much. Or needing too much. There’s only so much of each of us to go around, but a terrible lot of want and need.”
For the first time, she looked at him directly and her brow slowly furrowed as if in thought. “I hadn’t looked at it that way. But I feel so bad about all their expectations. I just can’t forget them.”
Again, he played the words over in his fuzzy head, listening to their message and how they felt before thinking of what he might say.
“Very often, you have to forgive yourself for disappointing others because very often they will not.” He let that hang in the air for a few seconds before turning to face her directly and following with, “Will you forgive yourself for being only what you are, just one human being?”
Something happened to her face. He noticed her eyes glistened and her chin had acquired a little quiver and he thought, “What have I done? She’s going to cry!”
Then he felt her finger gently touch his big paw, tentatively. “Yes, I will hold your hand if you wish.” And she wrapped her hand around his big paw and she gave it a squeeze.
When they reached the library, he pretended it was not his stop. When they reached her stop, she stood up, still holding onto his paw, and said, “Would you let me make you some tea and show you what I try to do for people?” So he agreed.
When it was time for him to go home, she said, “Don’t go. Stay here tonight? It’s cold outside and dark and I’d like to talk some more.” So he stayed and ended up sleeping on the couch. Her dog thought this was an imposition but didn’t press the issue.
The next day, she was about to go to her classes again when she said with a little sadness in her voice, “Please… could you be here when I get home?” So he said he would, it was his day off, and he and her dog spent the day together. The dog was pleased to have company for a change. Bernard was… just pleased. All day long. And that was a change, too.
That night they sat and talked and she showed him more of her art. The next day was a repeat of the previous except that Bernard went to let his boss know he needed some more time away, which was reluctantly granted. All day long he puttered around her place, doing dishes, dusting, vacuuming her floor, thinking that the state of things may have reflected the girl’s state of mind – somewhat messy, confused and showing a loss of motivation. As he worked to put things in order, he felt content and useful in a way that not even his pleasant little job made him feel.
That night, something else important happened. She said to him that during the morning, on the way to her classes, she realized she felt happy again. “Bernard, I feel the need again, my inspiration is back. Tomorrow I’m going to start creating for people again. And I want you to stay and help me…. Will you?”
That was two months ago. Bernard only works part-time, now. His boss didn’t want to lose him and Bernard likes the man. He’s always waiting for the girl when she comes home and he’s there to see her off in the mornings when she goes out to school. Nights, he’s either on the floor by her bed or he’s her big pillow. Weekends they spend together at the library, an art museum or working on the artworks she does for people.
It came to him one morning, as he was happily washing dishes, and looking forward to her smile when he opened the door for her, that he’d found his calling. He’s a Support Bear and that’s what he was always meant to be.
They’re both extremely happy.
“If you're not making someone else's life better, then you're wasting your time.” ― Will Smith
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