In a world of super people, the worst thing that could happen isn’t being born with no powers. It’s being born with dumb powers. While other super-powered people are super strong, run fast, fly, laser eyes, shape-shift, so on and so forth, some of us gained… weak abilities that don’t do anything of use. Very derivative powers such as Seedling, who makes particular small plants grow. Another named Softy with the mighty ability to make skin… softer… While making them an exceptional gardener or a skincare therapist, it doesn’t help much in the “heroic” category.

I am one of the unfortunate people with a less-than-desirable power. I… well, I… make things slippery… As much as I’d like for it to be a joke, it really isn’t… I found out at a young age what my power was when I was involuntarily making the floor slick at home walking barefoot across the carpet. After the third time my mother slipped on the altered flooring, she forced me to wear shoes at all times when walking around until I could control my output. Now that I have full control, I still find myself hesitant to remove my shoes or gloves for any reason, other than bathing, that is.

The reason for having mundane superpowers isn’t so much a problem in itself, but the way the average non-powered person treats you. They assume that everyone with powers should be able to contribute to society in some form or fashion with it. Let’s be honest, I have been offered jobs as water slide maintenance, to help water parks save money on actual water. I’ve been offered jobs in the Olympics or sports to give people unfair advantages. I’ve even been offered jobs in the… adult industry… We won’t get into that one…

Of all things, I just want to be confident in myself. My powers may be arguably useless, but that doesn’t mean I have to be! I’ve trained myself in many different martial arts! I’ve exercised my body to be strong and agile, as well as my eyes and hands for quick reaction! Amongst the ordinary civilians, I’m considered very capable! However, there’s still this lingering sadness in my heart. As if becoming someone other than myself just to appreciate who I am. It may all be me, but at the same time, I’m shunning myself for the sake of validation. It begs the question… who do I wanna be?

Twenty-nine years old and working at a trading card store. With even a useless power like mine, I’m still considered overqualified for this position, but I enjoy it. You meet some interesting people here. While working late one night stocking the shelves, the front door swings open. I stand up, looking over the shelves. Four men enter, all wearing black. A large man leads them. He must have some sort of physical capability. A thin man who seems rather on edge. It must someone with speed-based powers. From what I see over the shelf, one man’s legs aren’t moving, meaning he must be floating. The lasts wearing sunglasses, which is odd for this hour. He must have some kind of ocular power.

“Check the place.” The large man says in a deep, heavy voice. The thin man dashes quickly, running from isle to isle, sweeping the place rapidly for people. I need to think quickly before I’m spotted involuntarily! I step out into the middle isle, showing myself willingly. “Hey, fellas. A little late, aren’t ya?” I feel a chill on my shoulder while I try to playfully converse with the men. Before I know it, the fast person is suddenly standing next to me, inspecting me closely. “Looks like someone was still creepin’ ‘round.”

The big guy crosses his arms. “Well yeah, dumbass. The front door was still unlocked.” The giant of a man approaches me with a confident stride. “Listen, little man.” He says as he leans down to me, getting inches from my face. “You’re gonna help us load these cards into our truck, then wipe us from those cameras, or you’ll die, and we’ll do it ourselves.” The others begin a low chuckle. At this point, I can’t see a peaceful resolve, and even with a little combat training, I can’t see myself overwhelming a super, even less against four of them. Maybe I can bluff them.

“Come on, fellas. My powers aren’t something I can just “use” whenever, but this might be the right time.” I keep my calm demeanor and stand straight up, making myself appear confident to push the lie. The big guy keeps his arms crossed, glancing back at the floating guy and the glasses guy. “Hey. What’s your guess on his power?” He asks to them. The glasses man lowers the sunglasses. His eyes have a sharp red iris that flares in and out as he focuses on me. It’s equal parts fascinating and disturbing to see.

After a moment, he pulls his glasses back up. “He’s wearing gloves and long sleeves on a warm day. I’d guess something to do with touch. He’s not mechanical or wearing special restrictive technology, so it can’t be lethal.” I see my bluff has fallen apart. This man must be able to sweep for metal, or perhaps an x-ray deal or something. The big man turns back to me. “So nothing to fear. Got it.” He reaches his hand towards me. The time for bluffing is gone. Now, I need to figure out a way to escape.

I step back away from the man. “Come on. Let’s not get-!” I’m cut off as the fast guy grabs me from behind, locking my arms over my head. “Now, now. Let’s not make this complicated.” I stomp on his foot, causing him to let me go and yell out in pain. I throw my elbow back in the moment and hit his forehead, knocking him down. I look up at the big guy. “Alright, fine. I may not live, but I’m definitely not dying without a fight!” I take a stance. Crouched with my right hand up to guard and my left prepared to strike!

The big man scoffs at me as he looks back at the other two. “Start looting. This’ll be quick.” I step forward, punching the man in the stomach. He doesn’t even flinch as he calmly turns back to me. “Not a bright one, are you?” He says as he pulls his massive fist back, preparing to punch me. His fist barrels towards me with a powerful force, but it’s so slow. The teachers in my training classes were league’s above these guys in talent. They must rely heavily on their powers alone. I attempt to slap his hand out of the way, but it was in that moment that I realized how much he truly didn’t need style. His power was genuine.

I quickly dodge as my defensive strike stopped nothing. The punch sends a small shockwave through the air, causing the wind to ripple and the glass on the shelves to rattle. I jump back quickly, trying to get some distance between us. I look down and realize the fast guy is gone! A quick, sharp pain strikes me in the side. I look down to see no one there. Another strike comes in from the other side. Again, nothing there. The strikes become more rapid in succession. The fast guy is pummeling me with weak strikes, and I can’t even focus on him while the big guy stands in front of me. All the while, the flying guy and glasses guy are breaking into the shelves and stealing the cards!

I begin to creep backwards, taking the fast guy’s punches while keeping a distance from the big guy. I can feel the bruises beginning to form as the fast guy strikes the same spots over and over. The big guy is gonna get his chance to strike if I don’t do something! Maybe… my power could… I slip my gloves off, then touch the floor, making it slick around me. The fast guy slips past me, sliding into the big guy. The big guy slips as the fast guy bumps his legs, making him fall over, ripping the shelves apart as he tries to catch himself. I grin a little. “Ha! Told you not to mess with me!” I stagger a little as I try to balance myself on the slick floor. The flying guy and glasses guy stop what they’re doing and focus on me.

“You’re a dead man!” A heated line from the flying guy as he floats over the big guy towards me. I go to take my stance, but slip and fall, involuntarily dodging the flying guy’s strike. I touch the floor, removing the slickness for my own sake… or rather not. The strong and fast guys quickly climb to their feet. The strong guy points at me with a murderous glare. “I’m gonna kill you!” He strides towards me with steps that shake the very foundation! I quickly pull my shoes off and stand up, turning the floor slick through my feet! The big guy stumbles, catching himself on the rack beside him!

The fast guy quickly climbs over the big guy onto the top of the racks. “Ya make things slippery?! That’s the dumbest trait I’ve ever seen!” He dashes towards me from the top of the rack, quickly making his way to me. I push myself backwards between two rows of racks, trying to maintain my balance as I slide. I slap the two racks at both of my sides, making them slick as well. The fast guy jumps to one of them, slipping off immediately onto the floor. I hold myself up with the racks, struggling because now everything is slick! “Slippery punk!” I hear the shout from above! The floating guy hanging in the air freely. “Your slippery shit doesn’t work on me!” He shouts before dashing towards me like a missile, fist forward with maximum speed.

I Take a breath, focusing myself. I posture myself calmly, treating the slick floor like an ice skating rink. I raise my hands up, preparing to defend. As the flying man gets into range, I touch my hand to his fast, turning him slick upon contact, sliding him past me and slightly off-setting his course to make him slam into the racks instead of into me. I look back to him to see he is unconscious. My confidence is growing! I can do this! I look towards the big guy, but a gleam shines past him. The glasses guy is leaning over the top of a rack holding a gun at me! I grab the racks and pull myself forward, sliding around to dodge him!

Gunfire begins sounding out. I keep my head low, but his aim seems to pass straight through the racks just barely missing me! I see collector baseball bats on the shelf ahead of me! I slide my way to them, snatching one as I slide by. I swipe my hand across it, making it slick around the outside of everywhere but the handle. I quickly stand up, pressing my fingers to the end of the handle side, flicking it at the glasses guy like a javelin. He raises his hand to catch it, but it slips through his hand, hitting him right in the face, knocking him from the shelf to the floor. “Yes!” I silently utter to myself with a motioned victorious fist pump!

I take the moment to call for police and end this for good! Placing the phone to my ear, it barely rings before someone answers. “001. What’s your emergency?” The person asks in a monotone. “I have four criminals trying to rob Kev’s Cards on the corner of East Ford and-“ before I finish the report, the shelf next to me slams into me, shoved from the other side and smashing me between the that one and the one behind it. I climb from the smashed racking. A sharp pain burns on my side as a hanger from the rack is stuck in my side. I look to see the strong guy laying on the ground with his legs towards me. He must have kicked the shelf forward.

I look into my hand at my phone. It’s smashed to pieces. I turn off the slickness on everything touching me. I push all the stuff off of me as the big guy stands up. “Good job. You pissed me off.” I feel his anger burning through me as I lay on the ground in pain. He walks over to a ten-foot monster card model display, lifting it off of the ground with ease, holding it over his head. He walks through the broken rack pieces towards me, crushing it like walking on dead tree branches. Towering over me, he looks down, ready to end me.

“Any last words?” He asks, as if he really plans to memorize them. I cough as I relax into the floor. “You just don’t learn, do you?” I muster the words as I make the floor slick with the heel of my foot, causing the big guy to slip, dropping the statue on top of his own head. The ground rattles from the impact. The big guy is motionless, but I doubt he’s dead. I continue to lay on the floor to avoid bleeding heavier from the wound I sustained. Looking around, the store is trashed. All this over scalping some trading cards… my boss is gonna fire me for sure…

Lights and sirens blare outside as the police arrive. They enter the store with guns raised, shouting commands amongst each other as they rush around, assessing the situation and collecting the criminals. They dig me out of the rubble and drag me out. “Thanks for the help.” I say to the officers as I hold my side in pain. They roll me over with zero regard of my injury, pulling my hands behind my back to cuff me. “Hey! I’m the one who called you!” I want to fight it, but it’s pointless. They stand me up and begin walking me to the door.

Police lights and headlights are blinding as we exit the store. The officers lead me to one of the cruisers. Before I sit down, another car pulls up. It’s my manager! She quickly hops out of her car and rushes over to me. “Stop! That one’s my employee!” She explains to the cops before they finish their arrest. They give me a dirty look before letting me go. “The call said there was four criminals in their heist, but we only caught three if he’s not one of them. I look around. I see them dragging the glasses guy, the flying guy, and the big guy out. The fast guy is gone. “There was a fast guy, too, but I guess he ran away.”

After giving a description about him, an ambulance shows up, putting me on a stretcher to take me to the hospital. I look at my manager as they strap me onto the stretcher. A disappointed smile creeps across my face. “Sorry about the store… I’m fired, right?” Pained and saddened by this turn of events, I feel tears swell in my eyes as I look away. “What are you talking about? You saved the store!” Shocked, I quickly turn to my manager. “What? But… the store’s in shambles.” The manager smiles and chuckles a little. “Are you kidding? Super-related incidences pay well through insurance!”

She flicks her hand dismissively at the store. “Cleaning isn’t a problem. Some damaged stuff is minimal!” She laughs and smiles at me. “You’re a hero!” Stunned, shocked, and a little nervous hearing such a line, I’m filled with something I’ve never felt before. The ambulance workers begin rolling me into the vehicle. The sounds around me seemingly vanish as the world seems to disappear. In this moment, the only thing I can feel is one emotion. One I realize I’ve never truly felt. Pride. I feel proud of myself, and for the first time ever, proud of my power! In this moment, I decided what I needed to do next!

I’m gonna apply to be a hero!