Once upon a midnight dreary
While I wandered, weak and weary
There came a knocking at my door
From a raven named Lenore.
What say you, raven? Be my whore!
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

And plead the night of darkness yore
In blinding light of Poe-ish lore
Eternalized forevermore
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

O! Why must Usher’s house so fall
Its heartbeat sealed between its walls
To crumble with a mighty roar
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

And yonder Ray’s martians do creep
While in his grave Shakespeare doth weep
How couldst thou gut a story’s core?
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

Once Dahl wrote a maiden’s sham
Who slayed her spouse with a leg of lamb
Then cooked and ate it, the clever gal,
Forever free of the gallows’ hell
“Raven!” I cried, “Doth this not sore?”
“How could a crime be done so poor?”
The raven gazed at the ocean’s shore
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

And now tis time for story’s end
For I know not what rounds the bend
Dear readers, please, I do implore
Remember not the senseless gore.

I must be drunk, for from the floor
A vision rises of the moor
And a bird with ghostly wings and beak
Whom only one word cares to speak
Tis raven, who thinks me quite the boor
And finds scolding me a banal chore
O! One last time, I cede the floor…

Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”