I walked through the empty streets of the small town I had once inhabited. Trees grew from the drains in the streets, huge dandelions sprouted from the cracked pavement under my feet, and the gardens of every house on the block were overgrown with thick, prickly vines. It was sad seeing my old town like this.

I walked into the house I called my home. The lively blue paint on our walls was faded and peeling. The trophies and medals on every shelf had fallen and broken on the floor. There was a family of skunks living in the basement, although I didn’t realize this until I heard them as I walked up the steps.

The room was there before me. I was afraid to open the door. Afraid to see the bed, afraid of the perfectly kept ghost bedroom out of my sight. The bed had always been made, every single morning. I wasn’t the best at keeping things clean, but my partner had always been good at tidying up after me.

I sucked in a deep breath, almost choking on the dust in the air. I had to go in. The door creaked as I opened it, and so did the floors under my weight. My chest grew tight at the sight of my old covers, the home I had left so long before.

The pain had gotten worse. I thought it would go away. Even as I watched Sonic’s friends fall one-by-one, it was never as bad as the death of Sonic himself. Even then, back when I had Rouge, it was much easier to deal with Sonic’s death.

He would always wake up early. Everyone believed me to keep things perfect and tidy, and to have a good schedule, but that was further from the truth. Sonic had a tight schedule of training, running, and cleaning. I did all of those things, although I planned things looser, much to his dismay. Back when he was alive, he had finally gotten me to have some order to my day, something I missed a lot about him.

I missed a lot of things about him. His messy quills in the morning. The way he’d practically jump on top of me if I took too long to wake up (Sonic was practically an over-sized cat). He always had so much energy, until around 10 pm, where he would crash and get in the mood to cuddle. So many nights had been spent curled up under the covers in bed, watching TV, and eating chilli dogs (I can’t stand those things, although I eat them in his memory).

His eyes used to be so bright. Even when he was sad, his eyes still shone. There was this intrinsic joy that could never be taken away from him, even when he was feeling down, that I cannot attain to this day. I’m still not sure how he did it.

A long time ago, we had been watching the stars together. Holding hands. Without our gloves. His paw pads were always so soft and comforting, and he loved my tiny little claws.

“Sonic?”

I remember his head perking up. “Yeah, what, Shadz?”

He responded quicker than I was expecting. “I… how do you… how are you always so happy? How are you constantly filled with joy?”

Sonic had merely shrugged. “Not sure. I mean, I do help people a lot. It makes you happy. Oh, and I run a lot. That too.”

I wish I hadn’t acted so grumpy at the time. Chaos, what I would give to see his smiling face again.

“Really, Sonic? That’s it?”

“What did you want as an answer?” With that, Sonic returned to stargazing.

I sighed. “I mean… something that you have that I don’t.”

“Oh.” Sonic’s attention snapped back to me. “Not sure. Maybe I just think less than you do.”

“Oh, you definitely don’t think, Faker.” I still used the nickname from time to time to tease him.

“Hey, I do think! I meant… just don’t think too much.” He was struggling to find words. “I mean… don’t overthink. Don’t get caught up in the past, is what I mean.”

Don’t get caught up in the past.

Sonic telling me that always hurt. It hurt not to think about her, to remember her, more than it did when I couldn’t get her off my mind. The guilt I felt from forgetting about her from time to time was much worse than the burden I felt from her passing.

“I… I don’t know how.” I confessed. “I can never be as happy as I could be, I can never be as happy as you, because I am unable to block out my past.”

Sonic looked serious for the first time in a while. He leaned his head on my shoulder.

“It’s hard to forget. I know. I’ve lost friends–not comparing this to Maria or anything, that was much worse for you–but I understand how you feel. It’s a lot for me, too, although I try to remember that the more time we spend in regret, the less time we have to live. It usually helps when the grief is overwhelming.”

I remember hugging him after that and weeping in his arms because Maria’s memory burned in my soul. And it burns to this day, aching my heart, although it is joined with many others, including Sonic himself.

I sat down on the bed. It creaked under my weight. How long has it been since Sonic died? I had lost track of the years. Time was moving incredibly fast, so fast that years felt like months at this point. After everyone on Mobius started dying out, I lost track of the time and year.

I tried not to think about how long it had been, partially because there is no one I can talk to anymore. The humans on earth died out ages ago due to nuclear warfare. I didn’t think I would miss humans as much as I did until everyone on Mobius started to die, too.

It was really uneventful. It was long after Sonic and his friends were dead, so there was nothing they could do. I had tried, desperately, to hold on, although at the time I didn’t realize how lonely I would be without people.

I didn’t try hard enough.

I should have helped when the people started to get sick. When the disease spread across the entire planet. I should have used my superior intellect and chaos abilities to give everyone medicine to keep them from dying, although at the time I was in such a wretched state from the death of Sonic that I began to hate everyone again.

Everyone reminded me of Sonic. The old statues they had erected of him, the whispers of the Blue Blur in the night–it all brought back flashes of my old life.

I wish I had stayed with Matilda. We adopted her shortly after we got married, although it was difficult to be a good father for her because I knew I would have to watch her die. Sonic understood my fear, and did his best to help me.

I fell back onto the dusty bed, tears in my eyes. That beautiful bed! So many peaceful nights where I could forget about my immortality! So many times I could feel mortal! I had been spoiled by his kindness, and did not realize how much my life would be a living hell until long after he was gone.

At first, I didn’t quite register that he was gone. It took a while for my mind to realize he was dead. And even then, I had Amy to confide in. Soon, Amy died. I had others to confide in, others who I became friends with–although I kept a distance because I knew I would outlive all of them.

I used to tell myself not to get close to others because of the pain I would experience once they were gone, and now I see what Sonic meant. Sonic always told me to enjoy life while everyone was alive. Now I understand what he meant! I understood!

“I regret not seeing them.” I said out loud. I hadn’t spoken in ages. “I wish I got to know you better, Sonic. I wished I had gotten to know everyone better. Even Tails. But no, I was a dumb idiot who was so scared of losing people that I let them slip through my grasp!”

I wanted to feel his touch! I wanted to kiss him! But I was unable. His body had long since decayed and was but dust in the ground. His beautiful, cobalt blue quills I used to brush every morning no longer existed.

Nobody existed, although that didn’t hurt as much as losing Sonic.

I remember when my daughter died. It didn’t hurt very much back then. During her funeral, something Sonic told me could never get out of my head.

When Matilda had been taken home and put to bed, Sonic sat me down on our bed that night. His eyes burned with life, as they usually did.

“Please, Shadow. Please don’t be upset.” He held my hands. “I know this is hard. I know you want to run away, but you can’t. You need to be there for her.”

I remember telling him that I never ran away. What a foolish hedgehog I had been! I always ran away!

“Shadow.” Sonic’s emerald eyes dug holes in my soul as he stared into me. “You have the unique opportunity to be with her forever. Please, don’t let your fears keep you from loving her.”

“I won’t.” I told him quickly, before I changed the subject by tackling him and pinning him to the bed.

I wished I would have taken his advice. I wished I would have talked to him longer about this. I still wonder how much more he would have said, what advice he could have given me that I had missed.

Watching Matilda get buried hurt, although not in the way that it should have. I should have remembered all our great times together and miss the girl who I raised and got to know. I should have missed her personality, the way she teased me or read quietly with me. But no, I had never allowed her inside. Instead, I was grieving what could have been. I never knew much about her. I had always kept my distance. Loved her from afar. I brought home a paycheck and made sure that everyone was safe and cared for, sure, but Sonic did most of the raising. No, what I grieved when she died was the family that I had and missed because I was too scared to lose them.

And now my family was gone. The two people I truly loved were gone. Or rather, my lover and the child I should have loved but foolishly refused to.

Share deserved better. She deserved a good father. Two good fathers. And yet, she only had one. I did nothing, and the worst part was that Sonic knew this and couldn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t force me to do anything. All he could do was try his best to unite us.

He had suffered more because of me.

Being the only person left alive is torment. There is no one to confide in, nothing to distract yourself. I have already read every book I could fine, and even if I hadn’t, reading was starting to get boring, anyhow. My mind had become a prison of my own making, so reading, living there any longer, was agony.

The bed didn’t smell like Sonic anymore. Nothing smelled like him. Time had passed and the traces of him still left in the atmosphere had withered away. Everything that I had ever loved was gone.

There was nothing I could do. Nothing I could do to bring back the things I had let slip away, and nothing I could do could finally end the last life on Mobius.

I had no idea what to do. I used to do things, but it was all futile. Nothing mattered without anyone. There was no point in trying to accomplish anything because it was all for myself. No one to love you, no one to love back. Nothing. Utter nothingness.

I sat back up in his bed. I could really just sleep for as long as I wanted. There was no limit to time. My body would never grow old or decay. Maggots would never eat my corpse. Even as the planet began to decay, even as the soil broke apart into many rocks that would drift about the cosmos, I would never die. Even if I was left stranded in space, drifting in the eternal void, my body would still be the same as the day that Maria first embraced me.

I was alive, but would never live again.

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Hello. I’m not sure if I should add another part, which is why I’m marking this as uncompleted. I may add another part in the future. I like this premise but need to think of a plot first.