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Well Wishes

Act I: A Decent Crowd?

Act I: A Decent Crowd?

May 15, 2022


Characters:


  • Vivian (Mother)

  • Robert (Father)

  • Madge (Daughter) 

  • Davon (Son)

  • toddler- Finn  (youngest son)


Authors’ Note: *Content warning: This material may not be suitable for some readers. Story contains ideations manifested due to feelings of extreme distress.* 





Background: The Muiner family scrapes by on the meager earnings they make from their family restaurant. The father cooks while the mother waits tables and the children Davon and Madge help with other tasks in the restaurant that are manageable at their young age. They manage to help out by sweeping up, mopping, and wiping down the tables. Both of them were still just a smidge too short to reach the sink. The farther out from the main city center you lived, poverty's hold on you only seemed to tighten. The food was okay. Steady business was hard to come by since only those who were also penniless ventured in every once in a while for some hot grub. Fine fresh ingredients were a rarity: it wasn’t something the owners were able to buy too often to attract the tastes of lords and noblemen. They made due using whatever was available to them to make good home-cooked meals. Even though it wasn’t as rich in flavor compared to the rich folks' food the restaurant was fairly well-liked because the surrounding residents appreciated the family’s effort to provide nice hot meals.





Act I: A Decent Crowd?





A white stone building riddled with cracks sits amidst an array of tall browning patches of grass. The window shutter on the left hangs askew and is near falling off… one strong gust of wind would rip the thing clean off. Above the top of the building, a big wooden sign had the name Muiner’s Lounge printed in red etched into the dark wood that was splintering throughout. 


Inside the restaurant, there are 7 circular tables for patrons which isn’t much but the space was small and so far there had yet to be a time in which all the seats were full. Robert Muiner works the kitchen while his wife Vivian works the floor. She was tall and thin. Her hair was a beautiful tawny color laced with curls. Even though her hair was such an eye-catching hue it has lost its luster from going on without proper nutrients throughout her life. Her awkward gangly frame took away from the attractive features of her face. 


She had light steel blue eyes, the inner portion was darker expanding outward into lighter and lighter tones of blue. Her lips were medium length and looked as if she used pink rose petals to color them. Not a lot of people saw how truly beautiful she was because all anyone noticed was how malnourished she appeared and the fatigue that screamed out at you when looking at her eyes. As the Muiner couple runs the restaurant their young children Madge, Davon, and Finn scurry around. Madge was the Muiner’s oldest daughter; she was eight years old. 


Madge was very brave and curious. She always seemed to find a way of getting into things. Madge was the spitting image of her mother but as a child, her fair complexion still awarded her with rosy cheeks. Robert had managed to pass on his green eyes to Madge and his youngest son Finn. Mr. Muiner had dark brown hair and green eyes. Unfortunately, despite being relatively young his hair was starting to gray rapidly from all his ongoing stress. He had a square jawline with hints of stubble here and there he had missed in a quick effort to shave. Despite what little they could eat, Mr. Muiner was somewhat muscular from the constant repetitive motions that came from running the shop, moving tables, hefting sacks of flour, and the like.  Somehow Davon had ended up with fairer hair than both his mother and father; his eyes held hints of blue and green that dotted the irises of his eyes. Davon was two years younger than Madge. He was not one for adventure and exploring like his sister but wherever she would go with a bit of coaxing he would follow. Finn was the youngest Muiner child. Being only three years old Finn spent a lot of time following his older siblings around. This child was the spitting image of a young Mr. Muiner with brilliant emerald eyes and dark brown hair.




Madge: “Bye Mom!”


Mrs. Muiner: “Uh excuse me little miss where do you think you are going?”


Madge: “Uh to the field to look for apples?”


She stammered out slowly trying to make up a quick response to hide where she planned to go.


Mrs. Muiner: “Oh no I don’t think so.”


*Sighed* Mrs. Muiner exasperated.


Mrs. Muiner: “We have 4 tables and I need you here to help watch Finn and wipe down the tables.”


Madge: “But Mom I--”


Mr. Muiner interjects sharply from the kitchen


Mr. Muiner: “Madge, listen to your mother.”


Madge: “Ugh!” Madge complains. “Why can’t Davon do it?”


Mrs. Muiner sighs.


Mrs. Muiner: “Davon is also going to be helping. Both of you just need to stay put until the rush is over.”


Madge: “Fine.”


She mutters hotly.



-The dinner rush dies down and the Muiners begin making preparations to close down for the night. Mr. and Mrs. Muiner worked on cleaning the dishes and the kitchen while Madge and Davon took care of the dining area. While their parents were preoccupied prepping the family meal with leftover products from the restaurant, Madge and Davon quickly scurry out the front door before they could be stopped or seen.


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kkitchener427
Juniper Rose

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Comments (2)

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farzanaarhaan
farzanaarhaan

Top comment

Huh this is the first story in two weeks that i read all the way through.

I like the pacing. I like the fact that i can imagine what they are doing and i can imagine how they speak. I also like how you say the character descriptions. I give it a solid 8.5/10

The only thing i will do differently is spread out the sentences. Here is an example.

"Mary went to her grandmas house down the street where she fell and scraped her knee. Her grandma heard her scream so she went to the street to heal her knee. Her grandma brought her in and sat her down on the bed and got first aid kit from under the staircase"

I would write it like this.

"Mary went to her grandmas house down the street where she fell and scraped her knee.

Her grandma heard her scream so she went to the street to heal her knee.

Her grandma brought her in and sat her down on the bed and got first aid kit from under the staircase"

Hope this helps i really like your story telling.

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Act I: A Decent Crowd?

Act I: A Decent Crowd?

544 views 0 likes 2 comments


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