Derby paged through a manga as she waited for the patch to finish installing on her game. A series about a heroine that needed to flee her kingdom, running to a strong knight. In the section she was at, the two pretended to be married to get past a neighboring kingdom that only allowed married people in.

"Fake marriage plot, c'mon, how overused," Derby said. "The tags better not be lying about the yuri subplot."

Her computer binged, and she dropped the manga, then excitedly loaded Fantastical Fantasy MMO up, ready to see the new wallpaper she commissioned for her character's house would look.

Derby Ofohp made her ideal self as her character in the game, but it wasn't much like how she looked in reality. Her in game character had long, dark hair, was nine feet tall, and wore spiky armor. Derby wasn't much a fan of her own appearance, the euphoria from transitioning was nice but she still had trouble looking at herself in the mirror, not liking her chubby body or her unkempt, maroon hued hair. She was a lot cuter than she thought she was, though.

The character loaded into the world.

"What?" Derby muttered as she saw the new furniture in her character's home. What was supposed to be a detailed model of a fountain from one of her favorite anime series looked like a JPEG stretched out and pinned in odd places in a vain attempt to appear three dimensional. "Ugh, you have to be kidding!"

Derby scrolled through her chatlogs and found the modder she commissioned, her keyboard strokes loud and aggressive.

"Uh, um, hi, talonsbetterx588591? I installed the mod and it's not what I ordered. It looks like total fricking garbage."

The typing bubble popped up almost immediately, the modder was quick to respond at least.

"I used the image you sent."

"I didn't mean to just use the image, I paid for a 3D model of the fountain from Terminal Breakers! The one from the ending! It's a gorgeous piece of fountain construction in itself, not just having the characters from the series but also containing numerous references to anime history! They put the schematics online! You said it'd be easy!"

Derby sighed like she had been in the middle of a shouting match as she waited for an answer.

"Mod it yourself if it's such an issue!"

"I don't know how to mod, that's why I hired you!"

"If you want the full 3D, I'm gonna need another 1,000 FB."

"Kay…"

Derby checked the game's digital wallet.

"Ugh, out of Fantasy Bucks," Derby said. She checked the balance of her in-game currency and saw a few recent trades of all of her money for nothing items. "Emme was on my account again…"

Derby leaned back and rocked in her computer chair, which squeaked with each turn as she mulled over what to do.

"Kay, gotta scrounge up thirty bucks from somewhere." Derby decided.

She got up, kicking some empty soda bottles at her feet as she left her messy room. She squinted through the hallways of her home, going to her younger sister's room first.

Colby Ofohp was at her own desk, but she was studying. She had started a medical program at the local college and was already swamped with textbooks to read through.

"H-hey, Colby," Derby knocked awkwardly at the door.

"What is it?" Colby asked, not looking up from the textbook.

"Don't you think your big sister is really cool?" Derby asked, her voice quivering and weak.

"As if, the day I say you're cool is the day I eat sand." Colby said.

"I see..."

"Not just a handful, I'm talking buckets," Colby said. "So what do you want? If it's money, just turn around now."

Derby turned around and walked away.

Next she tried her Mom's room, she was in the home office on a call. Derby waited, muttering until her mom finished.

"Hi Derby, what's up?" Her mother asked. "I have another meeting in a few but if you want a grilled cheese I can whip one up quick."

"Mom, can I have some money?" Derby said.

"Depends, did you finish any of your chores?" Mom said.

"No…" Derby said.

"You should maybe do that first, then we'll talk payments. Or you could get a job."

Derby winced. Her mom was always pushing her to get a job. But wasn't college enough? Derby had three whole classes this semester, which was very draining.

"Have you seen Aunt Emme?" Derby asked.

"If you're trying to get her to mow the lawn for you, good luck, I don't think I could get her do do any chores around here," Mom said. "And I think she went out, said she was getting corn? Some corn seller? If it gets her out of the house, great, that's what I think."

"OK…"

Derby wasn't sure what to do next, but it definitely wasn't going to be chores. She decided to step outside, some fresh air would clear her mind.

She made it about three steps onto the stone path that cut through a flower bed before she noticed something strange. A giant, shadowy portal covered most of where her front lawn should have been.

"Oh. Uh? Hm." Derby wasn't sure how to process this. She tried to call for help, but in turning around tripped on her feet and tumbled down into the darkness.

Falling through a dimensional rift wasn't as scary as Derby expected, it was like tripping on ice, a quick fall and then a painful landing. She landed on her butt at least, and nothing seemed to immediately be broken. It felt like she was in a strange dream as she looked up at a gothic, rainy city.

Her voice failed her as she looked around, getting to her feet just in time to get surrounded by a group of armored knights.

"Halt! Intruder! State your business!"

Derby had never had a bunch of swords drawn at her before in real life.

"Awawawa…" Derby babbled as they took her away.

Derby yelped out in pain as one of the guards slammed her onto the cold, wet stone.

"She may be an enemy sorceress, careful," One of the guards grunted.

The guard locked heavy chains on her wrists. Her butt was already sore from the fall, and now she got smushed into the ground of a prison cell?

What's happening right now? I was just at my house…am I dreaming?

That was the only thing that made sense. Derby decided that at some point between messaging the modder and going outside she'd fallen asleep, and that this was just her subconscious coming up with a bizarre scenario.

"Those chains are witch-proof, there's nothing to worry about," another guard said.

Rainwater poured through a barred window, which Derby hoped was the source of the stone floor’s dampness. Derby rattled her chains. If she could get out of her shackles, she could…do something? If this was just a dream, maybe she'd have incredible powers and could blast a hole in the wall.

“Oof, big one incoming,” a guard grunted. 

Derby heard metal being dragged across the floor. A girl in black armor dropped with a heavy thud right next to her. She looked incredibly tough, almost like her MMO character come to life. Her horns were a little smaller and her fangs a bit sharper, but the resemblance was there if Derby squinted hard enough.

As the guards continued to chatter, the girl's eyes opened and darted around. She too looked like she was seeking a way out. When she spotted Derby's gaze, she winked at her.

The girl beside Derby started pulling on her chains. If her chains were the same as Derby's, this girl was an idiot for even making the attempt.

“You’re not gonna get out of those,” one of the guards said. 

“Aw, let her try. Please? Maybe she’ll wear herself out if we have to move her again.”

"No, and keep an eye on her so she doesn't try anything."

"Fine, whatever,"

One guard stayed focused on the armored girl while the rest turned to the door. The girl grunted as she kept pulling against the armor. Derby almost felt bad enough to break her silence to beg this girl to stop, mainly because this was embarrassing to watch. The two’s eyes met again, and the girl gave a soft smile. Each time the girl tried to break out of her chains, the guard eventually interrupted by kicking her. It was clear she wasn't doing anything like this.

"Hey, uh," Derby said, surprised at her own voice.

"What?" The guard snapped, turning away from the girl.

"You should, uh, k-keep an eye on me, too," Derby said. "I'm super duper strong."

"Super what?" The guard said. "Speak up, I can't hear you!"

The girl in armor's eyes lit up at the distraction. Derby wasn't sure how long she could buy this girl, but she felt like she had to try.

"Yeah, I'm like...actually a nine foot tall dark lord, I just put a glamour on, so, you should really...like watch out. I'm charging up a spell. It's...uh...."

“Hraggh!” The armored girl yelled as she pulled her arms apart, the chains somehow shattering.

“What the—” One of the guards yelled as the girl rose in the blink of an eye and swung hard. In a few moments, the guards on them were disposed of. They strangely turned into a gross ooze from just a few hits from this girl.

"Right, that takes care of them,” The girl said.

Derby couldn’t tell if this girl was talking to her or to herself.

“But I counted about fifty just in the halls on the way here. So they’re probably gonna hear…and yeah, lots of ooze…they’re definitely gonna see that…hm. But if we're sneaky, that shouldn't be an issue.” She patted Derby's back. “You're real, right?"

"I, uh, I think so?" Derby said.

The girl snapped her fingers, and sparkly energy fell on Derby like snowflakes. Standing at full height, the girl reminded Derby of her MMO character again. She probably wasn't nine feet tall like that created one, but she was much taller than Derby.

"Yep, you're real," the girl said. "Say, care to make a break out of here?”

"I…would like that, yes?" Derby said.

“Here, I’ll try to get these off without breaking anything,” the girl said as she grabbed the chains on Derby's wrists. Derby's arms got yanked a bit, but otherwise she was completely unharmed.

“Thanks,” Derby got to her feet, sore and confused from all that. She squinted at the remains from the guards. "Did you just like…murder all those guys?"

"I did, but they're just monsters! They goopify and reform. So I guess not really murder," the girl said. “This realm is mostly taken over by them. Not many sentient folks here anymore, tsk tsk." The girl squinted at Derby. "What's curiouser is how you ended up here. What is your name?"

"Derby Ofohp."

"Derby of Hope, fascinating!" the girl said. "I am Brie de Meaux, Dark Lord of the Umpeenth Realm. I was…avoiding certain circumstances, so I decided to hide out in a monster ruled realm for a while, but this one is rather deadly."

"Y-yeah," Derby said. "I was…just at my house. There was a big portal or something on my lawn?"

"A big portal or something?" Brie said, eyes brightening. "That's fantastic, I can visit your realm next!"

"You can get me home?" Derby asked.

Brie snapped her fingers again, and another bit of sparkling energy fell on Derby. Brie rubbed her hands together. "Just have to follow that energy thread, and…blam! Terrific!"

Another shadowy portal opened at their feet.

"And this goes back home?" Derby asked.

"Obviously! I am a skilled magic wielder, I wouldn't mess this up!" Brie said.

That made it sound like she would totally mess it up, but it wasn't like Derby had much of a choice. Brie held her hand out, and Derby took it, laughing nervously as the two stepped into the gateway.

The dark and rainy atmosphere of whatever the heck that place was vanished in a flash. This time Derby landed on her feet, sighing in relief to be back home.

"Oh my gosh, thank you!" Derby said. "You're amazing!"

"Heh, a dark lord such as myself strives to be worthy of praise," Brie said. "Come now, let's go to your home, I hunger."

"You…wanna go to my house?" Derby asked.

"Of course! Unless it isn't safe. Is your realm overrun by monsters?"

"It's…pretty safe, I think?" Derby blinked as she looked around. It was definitely home, but she hoped she'd be right outside her house again. "Fifth street, hm, it'll be a mile or so before we're home."

"Fine by me," Brie said.

And so, Derby found herself leading a girl she just met home. She knew she'd have a full panic attack after randomly falling through a dimensional portal and getting captured by monster guards, the stinging pain in her butt an immediate constant reminder, but for now she felt strangely relaxed.

"Are you like…for real a dark lord?" Derby asked.

"Why would I lie about that?" Brie said. "Have you not heard of the five dark lords of the Skarlax realm?"

"N-no…sorry…" Derby said.

"No need for apologies, Derby of Hope, I merely find this situation fascinating," Brie said. "This may be a better place to wait out my problem than that battle weary place."

"Yeah…you might stand out a bit with that armor," Derby said.

"Oh, this?" Brie flicked her wrists, and her armor looked like it was absorbed into spiked wristbands, leaving her in more casual clothes, namely a tube top and dark pants.

"A…wawa…" Derby said, trying not to stare at Brie's abs. Staring at other parts of Brie didn't help either. The dark lord had tattoos of chains and a flower on her upper left arm. She had a tail, long and thin, almost like a dragon's. "What, um, what problem are you avoiding?"

Brie's smug expression turned swiftly to a pout. Then her lips quivered, tears welling in her eyes.

"I don't want to get married to someone they pick for me!" Brie said. She went from brash and powerful to a teen having a tantrum in moments, it was almost as jarring as jumping dimensions was. "The dark lord council demands I get married, but I don't want my bride selected for me! Derby of Hope, what should I do?"

"Just Derby works, and uhhh, I dunno," Derby shrugged. "Maybe…fake marriage to someone else? That happened in a manga I'm reading."

Brie's pout turned back to a grin. She grabbed Derby's shoulders.

"Genius! Derby of Hope, that's brilliant!"

"Ah…thanks…?" Derby said.

Brie knelt down, holding Derby's hands. "Derby of Hope, marry me."

"Awawawa?!"