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Egg
Hey there!
Would you happen to have drawings of the characters from Project Burnout uploaded somewhere? I'd like to see them if you do so I can compare my vision of them to how they actually look : )
Thank you for your time!
Would you happen to have drawings of the characters from Project Burnout uploaded somewhere? I'd like to see them if you do so I can compare my vision of them to how they actually look : )
Thank you for your time!
Things to keep in mind:
"What is said," followed by who is talking.
"What is said can be," if you want, "divided in two" when the need arises.
"After establishing two characters," said John.
"And the rhythm between them," added Mark.
"You can pretty much continue writing," added the blond man.
"If you follow it up A>B, A>B...." he nodded in conformation.
"And the reader will know who's talking," he lifted a finger, "You know it was me, John. Didn't you? Because it was my turn."
"But if you suddenly add a third party without introducing them, it might confuse the reader into thinking it was one of the previous characters," added Jenny.
"What is said," followed by who is talking.
"What is said can be," if you want, "divided in two" when the need arises.
"After establishing two characters," said John.
"And the rhythm between them," added Mark.
"You can pretty much continue writing," added the blond man.
"If you follow it up A>B, A>B...." he nodded in conformation.
"And the reader will know who's talking," he lifted a finger, "You know it was me, John. Didn't you? Because it was my turn."
"But if you suddenly add a third party without introducing them, it might confuse the reader into thinking it was one of the previous characters," added Jenny.
And if the reader needs to "correct" a person's voice in their head, or they realize the the rhythm got messed up by someone talking twice in a row, without the narration making note of that, it gets them ejected out of the immersion faster than a seat out of a jet fighter.
That said, DON'T put names on every line. It's incredibly annoying to the readers. Instead, use a trait of the person talking, make the character use the other person's name or a trait, do the rhythm, or simply just do some narration to break up the pace in long conversations.
That said, DON'T put names on every line. It's incredibly annoying to the readers. Instead, use a trait of the person talking, make the character use the other person's name or a trait, do the rhythm, or simply just do some narration to break up the pace in long conversations.
"Fluke, I am your father," said the towering dark figure, in raspy voice, breathing heavily.
"Noooooo!" the young man couldn't hold himself without his arms, plummeting into the family pool and splashing his mother.
"Fluke, how many times did I tell you, not to climb onto the balcony! You have no hands, for God's sake!"
Notice how I introduced his mother, following with her line? And by saying his name, I made sure my readers know it's definitely her. That and context.
Now, ofc, you can't force exposition. Sometimes you need a cool one liner. But be sure to use SOME storytelling device to make ABSOLUTELY clear who's doing the talking.
"Noooooo!" the young man couldn't hold himself without his arms, plummeting into the family pool and splashing his mother.
"Fluke, how many times did I tell you, not to climb onto the balcony! You have no hands, for God's sake!"
Notice how I introduced his mother, following with her line? And by saying his name, I made sure my readers know it's definitely her. That and context.
Now, ofc, you can't force exposition. Sometimes you need a cool one liner. But be sure to use SOME storytelling device to make ABSOLUTELY clear who's doing the talking.
Now, I'm not saying you are doing all the mistakes and nothing good. But I think you're leaving it to chance far too much, hoping that it's clear.
But remember, your readers don't have even remotely the same scene in their mind when reading, that you do when writing. To you it's ten times more clear what is going on in the story.
Ugh, I've written a lot. I hope you understand I have only the best intentions. I like your story so far and will continue reading it. Listen to my advice if you find it worthy. If not, I won't take it to heart. I could be wrong, for all I know, and I could be the only one confused with your structure, but if no one ever tells you, you can't possible know.
Bye for now : )
But remember, your readers don't have even remotely the same scene in their mind when reading, that you do when writing. To you it's ten times more clear what is going on in the story.
Ugh, I've written a lot. I hope you understand I have only the best intentions. I like your story so far and will continue reading it. Listen to my advice if you find it worthy. If not, I won't take it to heart. I could be wrong, for all I know, and I could be the only one confused with your structure, but if no one ever tells you, you can't possible know.
Bye for now : )
sorry for not replying, but thanks for putting your critic. Looking back at some of the things I've written I can see what you're talking about
Happy New Year to everybody, hopefully, 2022 will be a little more chilled out than the past 2 years. Not only that but I have to thank you all for the past 6 months have been successful with your help, so to the hope of Project Burnout's continious progress.
Today is a good day for you all, I have finally been freed by the pains and trials to present to you all some of the finest works ever produced in the history of literature. Nah. The history of the world and beyond.
But yeah I've finally finished that exam block and I'm happy to announce that Project Burnout will be continuing, I'm excited to continue and hope you enjoy reading how the story will turn out.
But yeah I've finally finished that exam block and I'm happy to announce that Project Burnout will be continuing, I'm excited to continue and hope you enjoy reading how the story will turn out.
Hey everyone, guess what, guess what I'm about to say. You're all gonna love it, guess, guess. If you guessed that I'm gonna go on hiatus, good job, give yourself a pat on the back. In all seriousness though, I'm doing the one thing I didn't want to do so early in a series. I did attempt to make a buffer, but with exams running straight at me I've gotta make priorities. For the most active readers don't worry, I should be able to give you all an amazing Christmas gift as I get back into the series by December. So until I've finished being dragged across the floor by whatever is gonna be in the paper, I do hope you all the best.
We bloody did it, 25 subs in less than a month. Now while I have not individually thanked you all I appreciate everybody's interest in the series. I hope I can continue to provide you all with a story you enjoy.
Again thank you so much
Again thank you so much
Congratulations 👏
congrats!!! You are on your way to 100
Lets hope more people read your stuff!
congrats!! <3
