Clouded leopards don’t exist in this part of the world, not outside of zoos, anyway. Clouded leopards the size of an SUV don’t exist anywhere. If anyone saw one running through the woods, they would be forgiven for pissing themselves in fear, especially if that particular cat looked at you with bright emerald green eyes and a thirst for your blood. Unbeknownst to the unfortunate observer, this particular clouded leopard would have zero interest in them or their blood. 

He just wanted to be alone, away from everyone and everything, in the last place he saw his mate.

He ran through the woods, barely making any sound as he leapt over fallen logs and snow covered boulders. He leapt over the iced-over river, the water still running gently underneath. It was quiet here, peaceful; even if the memories it held were painful. His paws barely touched the snow covered ground on his trek, dodging and swerving to make his scent trail confusing to anyone following him. 

Just once, leave me alone.

He spied the edge of the treeline, a shiver of relief flowing through his body. No one was around, everything was still the same. He made one final leap, shifting as he did so, landing without a sound.

Natsu shoved his hands into his coat pockets, his eyes on the ground in front of him as he made his way across the old property. It may be covered in snow, but he still knew the layout like the back of his hand. He knew where the driveway was, where the ruins began, including the new pile of broken beams that had fallen a few weeks before he and Ava left for South Korea. He knew what lay within the old house, knew where to carefully place his feet as he walked through it, the crunching of the snow the only sound in this desolate area.

He stepped down from where the sliding glass door had once been to the large backyard, covered in untouched snow two feet deep. He trudged along, ignoring the cold. Not that it mattered; he could blow all of it away with one breath if he wanted to. He just…didn’t care.

He came to a stop at the edge of the cliff, the view akin to a winter wonderland captured in a still frame, the sun setting on his right. 

“How come you haven’t shown me yet?”

“I haven’t had the opportunity to. But I will someday. Promise.”

Natsu fought against the quiver in his chin, gritting his teeth.

You still haven’t shown me, he said through the link, sending it on a blue wave of longing and sadness. It came as almost no surprise that there was no response back. Outside of the tiny wave he received earlier in the truck, he hadn’t heard from Toji at all. He still felt him, still knew where he was, still knew he was alive and well…and he knew every time Toji got hurt or was angry, which happened to be a lot, especially in the last few years.

Without moving a muscle, he exuded a soft burst of energy, gently blowing away the snow around him in a three foot radius, revealing the dead grass below. He sat down, hugging his knees to his chest, closing his eyes as he focused on his husband. 

Toji…where are you? You said you were close…that you almost found it. Have you? 

He swallowed and took a deep breath.

Things are bad here, he continued. So many exiles slaughtered, humans dead, cities destroyed, and for no other reason than these assholes just want to see them dead. Seven years and we still can’t get a straight answer. At least we know who’s leading these Rogue bastards, who’s responsible for starting this war. We’ve been trying to track them down for the last three years but we haven’t had any real success. I think the last time we talked, we’d taken out three nests, found two more where Ackerman and his cronies had been, but they were gone before we got there. That was sixteen months ago…

Natsu ran both shaking hands through his hair, clutching at it.

Sixteen months, Toji…that’s how long it’s been since I last heard your voice. Since I saw your face. Since I felt your arms around me and tasted your kiss. Being able to stay connected like this is all I have left to live for anymore…I know you’re there, I still feel you. The wave you sent earlier…that was the happiest I’ve felt in so long, even if it was brief. I’m glad you’re okay…that you still have Nox, Charlotte, and Lana. Can you tell them hi for me?

He sniffed, the tears he fought so hard to contain forcing their way up.

Cameo is getting big, he chuckled softly. She still wants to hear stories about her Uncle Toji and can’t wait to meet you. I show her pictures of you on our phones all the time. I’ve even let her listen to the last voicemail you left me…she smiles every time. She says you have a pretty voice and she thinks your eyes are pretty, too. I tell her they’re the prettiest eyes in the entire universe. Ava doesn’t like it when I say that, of course. She still believes Cam has the prettiest eyes. He smiled, sending out a small wave with his gentle chuckle and an image of Cameo laughing, her amber eyes sparkling.

His smile faded as he let his arms rest on his knees, his gaze going out over the cliffside. We recovered more anishif blood from South Korea. It’s not the last batch we’ll find, but it’s close. All the anishifs have been accounted for, either rescued or…he swallowed, unable to continue that thought. Anyway…they’re safe in Kanaki Valley. Many of them have joined the Force, helping to root out Rogue Divine, rescue exiles and get them to safety, anything we need. There are still others that prefer to stay in the valley where it’s safe. A few have even found mates and started their own families. Megura, too! I think I told you about Darius…he’s a coyote anishif. He’s just a little smaller than Meg, but just as deadly. You wouldn’t think so when he’s in his demon form, though. He’s really gentle and kind. The cubs adore him and the exiles trust him implicitly. They have two cubs of their own now, a boy and a girl. The girl was born a few months after we saw each other last. She’s really cute…

He stopped. Toji knew about Meg and her family, he’d told him about them a few times. He felt like he was repeating himself, but he didn’t know what else to say anymore. There was nothing else to tell Toji other than all the horrible things that were going on; that more and more exiles were being killed every day, that they hadn’t found Ackerman or his cohorts, that this war felt like it would never end. He didn’t want to tell Toji that he didn’t want Megura’s blood anymore…that he was trying to deny himself, that he had begun raiding hospitals and stealing blood bags because he couldn’t do it anymore. Somehow, he had a feeling Toji already knew. Toji felt everything Natsu was going through, his mental, emotional…and physical

It’s you I want! He screamed, knowing Toji could feel the waves of his despair. I don’t want anyone else’s blood anymore, Neko, I just want yours! I want you home, back in our bed, back in my arms. I want to hear your voice, smell your body, hear your laugh. Why won’t you reach out to me anymore?! I know you still love me, that’s never been in doubt. I know there’s no one else and there never will be…but I miss you…I miss you, dammit! I can’t… a strangled sob broke free and he jammed the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he cried. “Come back, Neko, please! I want to die…I can’t live without you…it hurts to breathe…to think…to live. I just want to run away, to get away from all of this. I’ll find a new place where there was a door and I’ll wait there. They don’t need me anymore…Ava and Finn…they don’t need me…none of them do! You need me! I need you…” Natsu dissolved into tears, his voice broken and weak. “Baby, please…I need you…”

He buried his face in his arms and cried, sending out every wave, every thought, every emotion. He knew Toji was getting it but for whatever reason, he couldn’t respond. The time difference was so vast, he didn’t even know how many months or years it would be before Toji could respond to this moment. In the past, the waves were constant. They could even talk to each other, brief though those conversations may be. As time went by, they became more sporadic, the space between each contact growing longer. Only three times had Toji been able to find a crack in the barrier just large enough to pull Natsu into their pocket, the last time for ten minutes. It was the first time in years they had been together, the sex raw and passionate, if so very different from how it would have been if they were together in their physical bodies. They cried, holding each other tight, refusing to let go. Natsu could still feel Toji’s hands on his skin, the saltiness of his tears on his lips, the movement of Toji’s body against his, the feel of Toji inside him. 

It had been all too brief but still been wonderful. They’d held on tight, making promises and kissing until they couldn’t breathe. 

“Wait for me, Tsuki,” Toji whispered through his tears, his red and blue eyes full of the pain and intense longing he carried with him every day. “I know I’ve said it before, but we really are getting close.”

“If you weren’t, we couldn’t be together like this for so long. This is the longest I’ve been able to be with you.”

Toji had smiled, his fingers lost in Natsu’s hair. “See? At least you know I’m not just giving you empty promises.”

Natsu had laughed. A real laugh. They’d kissed, they’d cried, they’d held on for dear life, naked and unashamed. “I love you, Neko,” he said, his forehead against Toji’s, his arms wrapped tightly around his neck. “Forever.”

Toji brushed Natsu’s lips with his own. “I love you, my Natsu. For all eternity, through all space and time and in every Realm, my heart beats only for you.”

On the cliffside, alone and surrounded by snow, Natsu clutched at his core, his chest tight. If you don’t come home soon, I don’t know how much longer I can keep my own heart beating.

His breath caught as he felt something touch his core. It was light, gentle, and warm. Toji… He reached out, trying to grab onto the tiny tendril of energy and failing. His chin quivered, his hand reaching out to the last spot he had seen his husband in this Realm. It was shaking so bad…but he refused to let this tiny bit of hope get away from him. Baby, I’m right here…I’m still waiting…

Tsuki…

A warmth pressed against his palm, solid and real. 

Don’t give up. 

Tears ran unchecked down Natsu’s cheek. Neko…

Wait for me, Tsuki…I love you… The words were so faint, more of a feeling than actual words. Natsu’s heart raced. No…this couldn’t be all he would get after so long…Wait for me.

Toji…Toji! Please, don’t go! Please stay! The pressure against his palm faded and he let his hand slowly fall to his side. He felt the tendril disappear, and he was alone once more.